BraceFace: S1, E26 “Teacher’s Pet”

Here we are, ladies and germs! The final episode of Season 1 of BraceFace. I thought we would never get here, but we did. And I can’t wait to start reviewing Season 2 next week. Now, this is another episode that was aired out of order because our friends are still in middle school. But hey, this will be the last episode we see Mary Pickford Junior High so take a good look at it and reflect on all of the memories:

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Take one last good look at Mary Pickford Junior High.

Sharon and Maria are on their way to class and Maria is complaining about homework interfering with her personal life. Sharon assures her that she can deal with it since they only have a month of class left. Brock sees Maria walking in and decides to trick her by putting gum in her seat. Maria isn’t falling for it and decides to play along. She ends up taking the gum and putting it on him. Haha.

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Brock asks Alden if he wants to come over and practice. Alden can’t since he’s doing homework with Sharon. Brock complains about Alden putting his ho before his bro. Alden shrugs it off as Brock being jealous that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Alden is correct and this will come up next season. Just then, the principal comes in and announces to the class that their teacher, Ms. Morton has just given birth and will be on maternity leave. The class gets excited, but the principal informs the students that they will have a substitute teacher: Mr. Riley:

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The class groans as expected, and the principal lectures them on being their best behavior. While he’s doing this, Mr. Riley is mocking the principal behind his back. The men step into the hallway and Brock starts drawing on the board. Mr. Riley comes in and Brock rushes back to his seat. Mr. Riley stares at the chalkboard, erases some of the drawing, and draws glasses (which look like Brock’s) on the drawing. He also jokingly criticizes Brock’s drawing and the whole class laughs. I like this guy. We’ve all had cool teachers before.

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Mr. Riley tells the kids to come out outside. Everyone seems to like him, especially Maria. Yeah, I think we all know this episode is going to pan out.

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Brock asks Sharon if he can study with her and Alden and invite Maria to join them. Sharon isn’t so sure about it since we all know Maria can’t stand Brock. Brock convinces Sharon that he’s a nice guy and to just ask her. Sharon agrees to ask so he’ll shut up. Mr. Riley explains to the students that their teacher left him a note about their oral book report due this week. Since he doesn’t know who’s reporting on what, he decided that they’re going to play Charades based on books and authors. Maria volunteers to go first and Mr. Riley correctly guesses 1984 by George Orwell. He also thanks Maria for going first and says he can’t wait to see her report tomorrow.

After school, Sharon asks Maria if she wants to study with her, Alden and Brock. Maria says she can’t because she’s going to get started on her book report. Nothing like starting a book report the day before it’s due. Sharon mocks Maria and Mr. Riley passes them on his bike saying hi to the girls. Maria starts gushing about his mountain bike. Sharon mentions that Brock also has a bike, but Maria doesn’t care. At home, Josh is playing on the piano and our favorite couple has to do homework wearing headphones. Lol.

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N’awww they’re studying together.

Sharon asks Alden what he thinks of Mr. Riley. He thinks he’s okay and Sharon tells him that she thinks that Maria has a crush on him. If I were Sharon, I would never tell anyone something like that. Just then, the door rings and it’s Maria. She asks Sharon if she could borrow a skirt for tomorrow. Sharon is surprised because Maria never wears skirts, but she has a reason to now. This is quite entertaining. The next day, Sharon gets a drink from the water fountain and Brock comes along and sprays the water in Sharon’s face.

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And Brock wonders why no one likes him.

Brock brings up that Sharon never called and assumes that Maria wasn’t interested in studying with him. Brock wonders what he has to do to get Maria interested in him and wants Sharon to be honest. He even asks Sharon if he has a chance with Maria.

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He looks like a little puppy.

Sharon starts feeling bad for Brock because he’s acting like a lovesick puppy and he probably has no chance with Maria. She doesn’t want to hurt his feelings so she lies to him. Sharon goes in the bathroom and sees Maria wearing an outfit she wouldn’t normally wear.

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Cute outfit, minus the shoes.

We cut to Maria doing her book report. She’s putting people on the spot and I love it! She walks around the classroom with a camcorder to give the class an idea of “Big Brother”, who’s watching your every move.

Everyone applauds her for her presentation and Brock is acting like a groupie and gets ignored. Mr. Riley compliments Maria on her assignment and of course she smiles nervously. After class, Maria starts gushing over Mr. Riley touching her shoulder and him complimenting her in front of the whole class. Sharon tries to convince Maria to give Brock a chance by telling her she’s got all of these guys interested in her. Maria grosses out when Sharon mentions Brock and tells Sharon that you can’t force someone to like you. She’s right. Maria is convinced that she and Mr. Riley have a connection. Sharon tells him he’s old like 25. -__- This is a nice little callback from the pilot when Connor (he’s in this episode, but he’s been reduced to a background character tsk tsk) thought that 21 was old. Maria says she’s just into “mature guys”. Just because someone is older doesn’t mean they’re mature. Sharon tells Maria that Brock matures every year and we cut to Brock being gross to disprove Sharon’s statement.

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Brock: How come girls don’t like me? *does something gross*

Brock notices Maria and tosses her the mixtape he told Sharon he was going to make for Maria. Oh boy. The girls listen to the tape and Brock is singing (badly) a corny, love song and spells Maria’s name. Maria is turned off by this, but Sharon finds it cute. Maria changes the subject to Parent-Teacher night and starts worrying about what she should wear. Not even Sharon acted like this with Alden. Fast forward to Parent-Teacher night and although Maria didn’t change outfits, she did change her hair!

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Seeing Maria with her hair down is like seeing Ariana Grande with her hair down. It’s rare.

Maria notices Mr. Riley walking over to Maria’s parents and Maria is praying that they don’t embarrass her. Mr. Riley tells Maria’s parents everything parents want to hear during PTC (thank God those days are over. I hated PTCs). Sharon starts to believe that Mr. Riley might like Maria as well. Brock and Alden are standing together and Brock thinks he has no chance with Maria. Alden advises Brock to act more mature (since that’s what Maria’s into) and offers him another opportunity to impress her. He tells Brock to meet him, Sharon and Maria at Life Cycles tomorrow. Alden is much better at giving advice than Brock.

We cut to the next day at Life Cycles and Alden puts his straw in Sharon’s drink. They’re so fucking adorable, I can’t stand it:

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Just then, Brock comes in looking ridiculous:

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Meet the new, improved Brock Leighton.

Sharon laughs at Brock’s attempt to be mature. Brock goes over to the front desk and orders a smoothie. Not too long after, Maria comes walking in and she’s wearing her hair down again. She was late because she was helping Mr. Riley with his lesson plan and announces to everyone that she’s in love. Brock comes over and asks Maria if he can buy her a smoothie in a deep voice. She declines and asks about his chin, which has fake facial hair on it. He completely ignores her question and asks if she wants to go listen to CDs next door (Spinning Disk). She turns him down again. He asks her if she wants to come over and hear the latest song he recorded. She turns him down once again, a little harsh and Brock seems to finally get the message and leaves. For a moment, I kind of felt sorry for him.

The next day, Maria joins Sharon at lunch and has a shit ton of books with her. She starts reading them so she can get some extra credit. Sharon tells Maria that she’s taking this too far and that she doesn’t even know Mr. Riley’s first name. And speak of the devil, Mr. Riley shows up and asks if he can join the girls for lunch. Maria is more than happy to have him join them. Sharon lies to Mr. Riley and tells him that she and Maria were just leaving. Maria tells Sharon to go ahead and that she’ll catch up with her later. Mr. Riley asks Maria what she’s doing on Saturday and invites her to meet him at Chez Renee for lunch. Maria gladly accepts and Mr. Riley jokingly tells her not to tell anyone because they might get jealous. Before he leaves, he tells her that reservations are under his full name, Chris Riley. And Maria goes gaga over knowing his real name.

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Maria shows up to gym late. Knowing how athletic Maria is, that is so unlike her. She catches up to Sharon, who’s running laps around the field and gushes about her “date” with Chris. Sharon finds a teacher and a student hanging outside of school weird (and so do I unless it’s class-related). Maria does the ol’ “Why can’t you just be happy for me?” shtick. She also adds that she can just be herself and Sharon stops her right there because Maria has never worn skirts or worn her hair down. Maria takes offense to this and she thinks Sharon is saying she looks bad in skirts and wearing her hair down. Sharon tries to explain, but Maria cuts her off and tells Sharon that she can’t handle the fact that she’s found someone who “likes” her. She also complains to Sharon about having to hear about Sharon talk about Alden. Maria runs off and Brock tries to get her attention by doing pushups, but he gets ignored.

Sharon doesn’t feel right about this and she consults Alden about the situation. I do like that she went to him for advice. She tells him about Maria and Chris and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. Sharon asks Alden not to tell anyone and he promises. We cut to a scene with Alden telling Brock about Maria and Riley while they’re rock climbing. Geez, no one on this show knows how to keep a secret. Alden tells Brock he needs to step it up if he wants to win Maria over. Brock feels hopeless because he doesn’t think he can compete with taking a girl to an expensive restaurant. Alden tells Brock that money doesn’t matter. The big “date” is here and Sharon tries one more attempt at getting through to Maria. She calls her on her cell phone, but Maria doesn’t answer.

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Cute look for Maria.

Sharon and Adam are washing the dishes and she tells Adam about the situation. Damn, is everyone going to be told this? I guess Helen is going to hear about this and call up Chris Hansen to show up at Chez Renee. Adam goes into big brother mode and says that this guy needs to be locked up. He advises Sharon to keep a close eye on Maria and Sharon heads over to Chez Renee. We cut to Brock in his room playing the guitar all depressed.

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Poor Brock.

Alden’s words from earlier play in Brock’s mind and he fantasizes about him going to the restaurant on a unicycle and handing Maria a Flaming Eddy. She’s immediately falls for Brock, tells Chris to take a hike and Brock carries her while on a unicycle:

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They ride off into the sunset and lived happily ever after.

Brock snaps out of his fantasy and heads down to the restaurant. We cut back to Sharon just arriving there and she peeks in the bushes to see if she can find them. No sign of either of them so she pretends to have a reservation under his name and is seated at the table. She looks up and sees Maria and Chris and hides under the table. Chris tells the waiter that they need a bigger table and Sharon wonders why they need a bigger table. Chris also orders a lot of Flaming Eddies as he way of saying thanks. Brock and Alden are standing across the street from the restaurant and Brock has a unicycle. Alden talks Brock out of living his fantasy because he doesn’t know how to unicycle. He reassures Brock that he’ll find another way to impress Maria. We cut back to the restaurant and two other girls have a seat at the table with Chris and Maria. And more kids start joining at the table as well.

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Does anyone know if Chris Hansen is on his way yet?

Chris reveals that he teaches at different schools and they’re all the brightest students he’s taught. He explains that he brought them here to recruit them as tutors for his volunteer literacy program. Maria looks like the biggest idiot in the world. The waiters bring over the flaming eddies and places them on the table. Some of them fall on the table and Sharon accidently touches Maria. The whole table is on fire and Chris tries to put the fire out with a pitcher full of water. Sharon has no choice but to come out of the table and she gets water poured on her. Maria asks Sharon what she’s doing here and Sharon tells her that she doesn’t know that she was just worried. It’s pretty awkward considering all of these people just standing there watching them. Sharon and Maria go inside the restaurant while Sharon dries off. Maria starts crying and is embarrassed that she made a fool of herself.

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Sharon consults Maria and tries to cheer Maria up by telling her that she would make a great tutor and all of this was for her to get a good opportunity. Such a sweet moment. We cut to everyone’s favorite couple at the park on their roller blades.

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Why are they so fucking adorable?

Brock and Maria are also there and Maria pulls Sharon away from Alden. Maria tells Sharon that she’s having fun hanging out with all of them and Brock is not the best part. While Maria does “like-like” or “love-love” Brock, she says that she can barely tolerate him.

This was a great episode! It’s a much better episode than the last one and it’s a great setup for Season 2. I think everyone was likeable in this episode. I love how helpful Sharon and Alden were to their friends. Alden gave Brock some great advice and it was nice to see Sharon concerned about Maria and consulting her. Maria and Brock were well done in this episode and they were pretty relatable. I’ve been in Maria’s shoes before. I know what it’s like to finally have someone like you for a change when you never experienced it. It happened to me my freshman year of college, but unfortunately he was the wrong one (I’ve spoken about him a few times in my reviews). I’ve also been in Brock’s shoes when you really like someone and you try so hard to get them to like you. Every guy I have ever liked has never liked me back and it sucks. You think you can try to make them like you, but you can’t. Maria said it in this episode that you can’t force someone to like you and I had to realize that. Even though he only appeared in this episode briefly, I liked how Adam mentioned about older men preying on young girls. I’ve experienced this before and I still do despite being 24 because I have a baby face. And the topic of girls being attracted to their teachers is nothing new, but I’m glad that Mr. Riley didn’t do anything. That wraps up this review; I can’t wait to review Season 2 next week!

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BraceFace: S1, E25 “Twisted”

Sharon is on her way to Dr. Hertz’s office. Summer vacation is almost over and Sharon is hoping to have her braces off in time to start high school. Ah, so when she told Jason that her braces might be off at the end of summer she wasn’t lying. Sharon proved me wrong. Dr. Hertz tells Sharon that her wisdom teeth have changed things around and she might have to have her braces for another year, two at the most. Sharon freaks out and Dr. Hertz tells her to calm down while he puts headphones on her. I’m not 100% sure what he’s doing. I would say that he’s performing surgery, but that’s unlikely.

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“Just relax” says the creepy orthodontist.

Dr. Hertz tells Sharon that he’s all done and calls her muffin. Sharon gets pissed at him for calling her muffin and storms out of the office.

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“I’m your paycheck and my name is Sharon”-Sharon

Sharon rides her bike (that’s how she got to Dr. Hertz’s office) through the park and almost runs into Nina. Sharon ends up crashing her bike and says that she’s okay. Nina tells Sharon that she’s not worried about her and that it’s her fault. Sharon is surprised to see Nina because she’s supposed to be in Europe. Nina explains that she did go to Europe and that she’s on her way to a luxury spa and she running so the masseuse won’t have to touch any “flab”. Back at home, Helen tells Sharon that they’re going up to Windy Pines Lodge for a last minute vacation and Richard will be there performing. Sharon tells her mom she’s not going and I think this picture tells you whether or not she’s going:

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I have to admit that I’m surprised that Sharon doesn’t want to go. Yeah she complained about how it’s an old folks’ place that smells, but she gets to see her dad. If you recall “The Divorce Thing” and “Miami Vices”, you know that Sharon is a daddy’s girl. You would think that she would be excited to see him. On with the episode, Richard comes in and greets everyone. Sharon sees Nina with her mom and hides behind a pillar. I guess this is the luxury spa Nina was bragging about. Nina’s mom walks over to Richard and he announces to everyone that they’re dating.

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Sharon screams and everyone’s reactions are funny:

Sharon realizes that if they get married that Nina will be her step-sister and faints. Sharon comes to and asks Helen if they can go home. Sharon excuses herself to the bathroom and Nina is there applying lipstick. She asks Sharon how she’s feeling since she’s had so many falls the last few days. Lol. Sharon tells Nina to leave so she can have some privacy, but Nina’s not leaving since they’re practically related. Sharon swears she’s going to make sure Richard will come to his senses. Nina goes on about how nice Richard is and how adorable Josh and Adam are especially Adam. Yeah, that’s just creepy. Nina leaves the bathroom and comes back in to say that she and Adam can still date since he’ll never be her real brother. (cringes) Helen comes into the bathroom and tells Sharon that they’re getting ready to have dinner and they got a table to fit everyone.

At dinner, Richard gives a toast and Helen adds in giving her support to Nina and Ellie (Nina’s mom) for the divorce.

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“How touching…”

At night, Sharon wakes up Adam and tells him that Nina wants to date him and to beware of her evil ways. He’s mad that he woke her up for that and reassures Sharon that he knows what’s up. The next day, they’re in the pool playing Chicken. Sharon and her dad beat out Ellie and Josh. Nina and Adam go against Sharon and Richard. Oh, this is going to be interesting.

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The fight of the century. Everyone, place your bets!

Nina starts pulling Sharon’s hair really hard. Helen is supposed to be the referee and she claims to not have seen it. They go back at it again and Nina fakes a back injury. Helen “just so happens” to see it and blows the whistle. Adam curses out Sharon for taking it too far. Sharon points out what Nina did to her, but Richard just chalks it up to Sharon being a sore loser. Oh, I see what’s happening. Everybody kisses Nina’s ass and treats Sharon like shit. It’s like when a new kid comes along and everyone loves the new kid except you because you know the new kid is a bitch, but everyone assumes you’re jealous. Sharon and Richard are playing golf and Sharon attempts to talk Richard out of dating/marrying Ellie. Richard applies the “The Apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree” logic and doesn’t think that Nina is all that bad. He also assumes that Sharon doesn’t want him to date other people. He’s totally wrong about that. Compare how Sharon acted towards David in “The Divorce Thing” to this and you’ll see. Sharon still attempts to convince Richard that Nina will make her life a living hell (like she doesn’t already) and we get a fantasy of Sharon being Cinderella and Nina being the wicked, step sister. Just then, Ellie calls out to Richard in the car with Nina in the backseat. Richard explains to Sharon that he’s going souvenir shopping with them and invites Sharon to come along. Sharon declines the offer.

At the cabin, Sharon’s complaining about having to babysit Josh while Helen watches Richard at the lounge and Adam watches wrestling in the lobby. Helen tells her that Nina will be babysitting Josh instead so Sharon is free to do whatever she wants. Nina comes in and pushes Sharon.

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I guess no one saw that, huh?

Nina walks over to Adam, flirts with him, and admires his championship wrestling ring. Sharon tries to convince Helen that Nina isn’t fit to babysit Josh by bringing up the fact that Nina almost drowned her cousin over a barrette. Helen breaks up the fight and says that both of them can babysit Josh. Nina plans on spoiling Josh with junk food and watching restricted videos (I hope they’re not porn). Sharon doesn’t think that Josh will be fooled, but she’ll be proven wrong:

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Nina is jet skiing with Josh tied at the end. Nina starts going too fast for Josh because she’s on the phone with Allyson bragging about dating Adam. Sharon calls for them to come back on the deck and Sharon’s braces pick up on their phone conversation. Allyson doesn’t believe Nina and Nina tells her that she’s wearing Adam’s ring. Sharon carries Josh back to the cabin because he has a stomachache for eating too much junk food. She overhears Nina and Adam talking. Adam explains to Nina about the wrestling match he saw on TV and Nina pretends to give a shit about wrestling. Nina asks Adam if she can wear his ring to bring him good luck and Adam tells her no. Sharon proves that Nina doesn’t like kids by asking her to come and help clean up Josh’s vomit. She declines and walks away. Ha.

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Later, Richard is performing with Josh, Adam and Nina. During the middle of the performance, Nina snatches Adam away and dances with him. Meanwhile, Sharon is in the swimming pool plotting how to convince everyone that Nina is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

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Plotting and scheming.

At night, Sharon is able to take Adam’s wrestling ring off his finger while he’s sleeping. At breakfast, Adam realizes his ring is missing. It took him that long to notice that? I would have noticed it when I was up and getting dressed. Sharon tells him that Nina probably took it. Nina walks into the dining hall and Adam confronts her over the ring. Nina has no idea what Adam is talking about and tells him to check her cabin. The rest of the family overhears this and Sharon follows them to the cabin. All Sharon has to do now is plant the ring in her cabin, but Nina denies her access. Sharon sneaks around the cabin where there’s a slightly open window. Oh, I think we all know where this is going:

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While Nina and Adam aren’t looking, Sharon opens up the window and places the ring on the desk. And here’s where Sharon’s plan crumbles: The window falls on her arm. Her plan would have worked if she had planted the ring in Nina’s cabin sooner. The rest of family comes rushing over to see what’s happening and Nina tells them that Sharon stole Adam’s ring to frame Nina. Richard comforts Nina and says that Nina would never do that to Sharon. He’s right because Nina would do something worse than that. We cut back to commercial break and apparently all of this was just a dream. (sighs) I hate episodes like this. Sharon leaves Dr. Hertz’s office and bumps into Nina who’s wearing glasses:

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Sharon thinks about mocking Nina for her glasses and decides against it. Nina is shocked that Sharon isn’t going to use this opportunity to make fun of her. Sharon narrates that we all have flaws and having braces in high school isn’t all that bad. She’s right. It isn’t bad. Most of my classmates started wearing braces in high school and no one gave a shit about them wearing them.

(sighs) I hated this episode in the past and my opinion on it hasn’t changed. It was a pointless episode. Was it suppose to make Sharon realize that wearing braces aren’t that bad and it could be worse (ex. Having Nina possibly be your step-sister)? If that was the purpose of this episode, then the writers could have come up with a better plot than this. The only positive thing I can say about this episode was the foreshadowing and that’s all I’ll say about it. I always hate those “Turn the other cheek” cliché in TV shows. I wish Sharon would have mocked Nina about her glasses because Nina needs to get a taste of her own medicine. I’m tired of TV shows allowing antagonists to never get their karma because the main character decides to be the “bigger person”. Of course, I hated the dream. I just got tired of Nina winning and everyone falling for her bullshit. Nina trying to hit on Adam was just creepy. I don’t care if they’re not blood related. If their parents marry each other, they’ll be siblings and them dating just screams incest.

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BraceFace: S1,E24 “Stormy Weather”

Remember last week when it was Christmas and the week before it was summer? Well, it looks like we’re back on track again. It’s a continuation of the girls being at Camp Kookalah. I’ve been itching to review this episode. All of you Shalden fans out there might enjoy this one. This is going to be a pretty, damn long review so let’s get right into it.

The girls have spent 4 weeks at Camp Kookalah and Alden has only written to Sharon twice. And the letters he did write to her aren’t romantic. Maria doesn’t see the big deal. Sharon’s on her way to the CIT meeting and some guy bumps into them. They get mad at him, he turns around and apologizes to them and everything is okay because he’s “soooo hot”. It’s not a summer camp episode if you don’t have a camp crush.

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“Erhmagawd, he’s soooo hot!”

He tells them he’s a new CIT because the other guy got kicked out for smoking. He says that he’s lucky to run into two pretty girls and walks away. Maria plays dumb and wonders if he was talking to them. Sharon points to herself and Maria and her face is one for the books:

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Don’t play dumb, Maria.

The girls continue walking and the new guy asks Maria if she’s coming in. Sharon tells him she’s not a CIT yet and Maria tells him that she will be and embarrasses herself by hitting herself with her paddle ball.

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Real smooth, Maria.

During the meeting, Carol introduces the camp crush as Jason. Sharon stares at him like the teenage girl she is. He looks back at her and smiles and causes Sharon to blush.

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Sharon never blushed like this when it came to Alden…

After the meeting, Maria starts asking Sharon a bunch of questions about Jason. Sharon asks Maria why she wants to know so much about him. Maria sees Jason with a bunch of girls flirting with each other. She makes a comment about how one of the girls moves pretty quickly and Sharon finally puts two and two together and realizes Maria has a crush on Jason. Maria, of course, denies it and changes the subject to Alden. Sharon is too busy staring at Jason and snaps out of it. Sharon thinks that she’s been too hard on Alden because she wants him to send her a letter every day. I have to agree on this one. I don’t expect a guy to write me a letter every day. Maria disagrees. Well, that’s a shocker. You’d think it was the other way around. Maria suggests that Sharon calls Alden to let him know that she misses him. Sharon tells them that they can only use the phone for emergencies only, but Maria says that this is an emergency.

Carol calls everyone to sign up for the regatta. Sharon suggests that they ask Jason to be on their team. Maria’s too afraid to ask him and tells Sharon to ask since she knows him better. Sharon puts Maria on the spot by yelling to Jason that Maria wants to ask him something. He walks over to them and asks Maria what’s up. Maria asks Jason to be on their team and he accepts. Sharon decides to take Maria’s advice and give Alden a call. We cut to Alden back in Elkford watching a baseball game and he’s really into it:

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Alden answers the phone and is surprised to hear Sharon. Poor Alden is distracted and frustrated by the game and Sharon believes that he doesn’t care about her. Sharon, Maria and Jason are practicing for the regatta. Jason helps Sharon with her life jacket and he takes off his shirt and asks them to get him something to drink. Ugh. He’s one of those guys.

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I can’t stop laughing at Maria.

The girls rush over to the cooler to get him a drink and they just so happen to grab the same can because the writers want to stress how much the girls are trying to get his attention. They have a little tug-o-war and end up falling into the water. Meanwhile back in Elkford, Alden’s reading one of Sharon’s letters at Life Cycles (hey we haven’t seen this place in a while).

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Brock grabs the letter out of his hands and starts mocking him. He asks Alden if he’s writing the same romantic stuff back and he tells him he’s not. Brock gives Alden some advice and tells him that girls like it when guys do stuff like that. He warns him that the camp is coed and Sharon could hook up with a guy there. We cut back to camp and Jason loosens up the rope attached to the sail. He lets go of the rope completely and the sail ends up hitting Sharon in the face. Jason rushes over to see if Sharon’s okay and her braces are fucked up.

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Back to Elkford and Brock invites Alden to come with him to his cottage. Alden doesn’t seem interested in this idea until Brock tells him that the cottage is near Camp Kookalah. Why didn’t Brock say something sooner? Brock’s mom drops Alden off at Camp Kookalah and Brock teases Alden and moons him. Alden’s face is pretty damn funny:

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Real mature, dude.

I must point out that Alden got all dressed up for his girl. That’s a good start.

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Jason and Sharon leave the orthodontist. He asks Sharon how much longer she’ll have her braces. She hopes by the end of the summer (we all know that’s a lie) and Jason says that he just got his off. They stop near a hot dog stand and he asks Sharon if she wants one. She tells him he’s a vegetarian and guess what? He’s also a vegetarian.

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“Will someone please think about the animals?”

Maria and Alden just finished taking a swim and Maria assures him that she misses him. And as soon as she says that, look who just so happen to be back from the orthodontist and a little stop for fries.

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It’s Sharon and Ald…never mind.

Maria and Alden witness this and Maria gets Sharon’s attention and she’s surprised to see Alden. (cues dramatic commercial break) We come back from the break and Sharon tells Maria to finish their flag for the regatta and has Jason help. Translation: You two need to get the hell out of here so Alden and I can talk. Sharon asks Alden why he’s here and Alden ignores the question and asks who Jason is. I love how he just didn’t answer her question. Sharon tells him he’s just a CIT and thinks that Alden came to spy on her. We cut to Maria and Jason who are decorating the flag. Maria tells Jason that she wanted to name their team after Tony Hawk (I haven’t heard that name since the early 2000s), but Sharon thought it was stupid to name a sailing team after a skateboarder. Jason says that he loves Tony Hawk and he skateboards himself. Maria agrees and asks him what his favorite trick. Jason is trying to think of something and says “Stale Fish”, which is also Maria’s favorite.

i-dont-know-shit-about-skateboarding

“I don’t know shit about skateboarding. Let me think of something quick to impress her.”

Isn’t it interesting that Jason has so much in common with Sharon and Maria? We cut back to our favorite couple and Sharon is upset that Alden decided to show up. Alden is confused because he thought she would be happy to see him. Sharon wishes he would have called and tells him she’s too busy with building the campfire and the regatta tomorrow. Alden tries to help her with the campfire, but she tells him she doesn’t need his help. Alden gets that Sharon doesn’t want to see him and leaves.

poor-alden

Poor Alden.

Sharon feels bad about how she treated Alden, but she starting to feel bored with Alden. Sharon heads back to her cabin and Maria comes running out and a bee flies out of the cabin. Sharon reminds Maria about how she got stung by a bee last year and Maria tells her to quit reminding her. I think one of my biggest fears is getting stung by one. When I was in elementary school, my brother and I attended a nearby church where our afternoon Spanish lessons were being held instead of inside the school library. The church had wasps everywhere and a girl got stung by a wasp and I never saw her again (I assumed she died). It also didn’t help that I heard stories about people dying from being stung by a bee or a wasp because they were allergic to them. Anyways, let’s get back to the review enough of my fear of dying from a bee or a wasp sting. The girls run to the other side of the cabin to avoid the bee. I don’t why they don’t just run away from the cabin all together. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near it. Maria asks Sharon where Alden is and Sharon lies and says that Alden had to go and help Brock’s mom, but Maria finds it odd. Maria changes the subject to Jason and tells Sharon that they have the same interests. Sharon also joins in and says that Jason shares the same interests as her.

Maria tells Sharon it’s obvious that she has a thing for Jason and she doesn’t want to admit it. Sharon tells Maria that she likes him as well, but Maria doesn’t have a boyfriend. Maria calls Sharon out for being ungrateful that Alden came all the way to see her. Sharon agrees and Maria thinks it makes sense for her to have Jason. Sharon agrees and while they’re not looking, the bee stings Maria’s arm.

this-justifies-my-fear-of-being-stung-by-a-bee-or-wasp

I think this pretty much justifies my fears of being stung by a bee or a wasp.

Maria’s arm is swollen and can barely lift it. As a result, she won’t be able to race in the regatta tomorrow. Fast forward to the regatta and Sharon’s team gets a 5-minute head start because of their handicap. Carol goes over the rules and lets Sharon team get their head start. Jason is clearly afraid of water, but denies it to Sharon because he’s so cool.

im-scared-of-water

“Aw man if she finds out I’m afraid of water, I’m never gettin’ laid”.

5 minutes have passed and the other teams sail off. We cut back to Jason and Sharon and Jason asks Sharon about Alden. Sharon denies that Alden is her boyfriend and tells him that he’s her cousin. Seriously?! Are you fucking serious?! (sighs) Let’s continue. Sharon gets mad at herself for saying that Alden is her cousin and she knows she would be pissed if Alden did the same thing. Sharon tells herself that she needs to keep reminding herself that she’s with Alden. As the race goes on, it looks like a storm is about to happen (hence the title of this episode) and Carol gets her out her megaphone and calls everyone back to shore. Everyone turns around except for Sharon and Jason, who were out of hearing distance. Jason can’t believe that such a pretty girl like Sharon doesn’t have a boyfriend. Sharon asks Jason if he has a girlfriend and he dodges the question by admitting there’s a lot of cute girls at camp. I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s a man whore. Sharon brings up Maria and encourages Jason to get to know Maria, but Jason says he’d rather get to know Sharon better. Sharon tries to change the subject by asking where everyone else is. Lol.

We cut to Brock and Alden and Brock’s cottage and Alden is playing the guitar and singing a song about Sharon.

poor-baby

Poor Baby 😦

Brock suggest that he gives Sharon a call because he’s tired of Alden moping around, but Alden goes back to playing the guitar and singing. Alden is no dummy as he’s well aware that Sharon is into Jason. We cut back to Sharon and Jason and Sharon’s reading the compass. Jason asks Sharon how she knows how to read a compass. Sharon tries explaining to Jason, but a wave hits them and knocks the compass out of her hand and Sharon is pushed into Jason’s arms.

sharon-falls-into-jasons-arms

He asks Sharon if she’s okay. Sharon can’t fight her feelings anymore, stops giving a fuck about Maria and Alden, and damn near kisses Jason.

sharon-and-jason-kiss

(inserts internal screaming) Their “kiss” is interrupted by the loud sounds of thunder. Thank you, Mother Nature. The sail on their boat breaks and the big waves carry them away. All of the other boats make it back to the camp except Sharon obviously. We cut to Alden on the phone with the camp and he’s been told that she’s out in the storm. Alden snaps out of his depressed mood, grabs Brock, and rushes to find Sharon. We’re back to Sharon and Jason and Jason is screaming and crying for his mama.

look-how-brave-he-is-in-the-middle-of-a-storm

Even in the midst of a storm, he still manages to be so brave.

Sharon tells him to snap out of it and help her gain control of the boat, but Jason’s afraid to thunder. Isn’t Maria also afraid of thunderstorms? They’d be a match made in heaven if Jason wasn’t such a dick. Maria and Carol go out to look for Sharon and Jason and Jason admits to Sharon that he’s only a good sailor in calm weather. She asks him if they’re anything else she needs to know about him and he vomits. The storm finally stops and Maria and Carol find them. Alden and Brock arrive at the dock and spots everyone arriving at the shore. They come rushing over to them and Alden and Sharon embrace.

sharon-and-alden-embrace

“Shit, I just remembered I have a boyfriend. Silly me.”

Carol and Brock help Jason out of the boat and this part here is pretty funny.

Jason: You seem awfully happy to see your “cousin”.

Sharon: You seem awfully happy to see dry land.

BURN!!!

Sharon apologizes to Alden for how she’s been treating him lately. Alden promises to write her every day, but Sharon tells him he doesn’t have to and Alden shuts her up with a kiss.

alden-kisses-sharon

As much as both of them has pissed me off in this episode, I can’t deny how fucking adorable that scene was. Brock tells Alden they’ve gotta go and Alden promises no more surprise visits. Sharon and Maria head back to camp and they pass by Jason at a campfire, who’s bragging to the girls at camp how “brave” he was during the storm. He’s doing this while eating a hotdog. The girls wonder what they ever saw in him and believes he lied about everything he said.

I really enjoyed this episode. Like I mentioned in a previous review, I love seeing Maria have her teenage girl moments. I don’t know if it’s just me, but most of the time Maria doesn’t act like a teenager. It’s nice to be reminded that she is one and is capable of falling for a guy. This episode reminded of an episode from “As Told by Ginger”. Ginger was going to camp before she started high school and she wasn’t really into her boyfriend anymore and she was hoping to hook up with her camp crush from last year. I don’t want to make this review longer than it already is so let’s get right into Sharon and Alden. I think that both of them were in the wrong. Alden definitely should have doing more to keep Sharon interested. Remember when I said that he’s clueless when it comes to relationships? This won’t be the last time we see this. When Sharon called Alden from camp, he should have paid more attention to her instead of the game. He was giving her the impression that he didn’t really care about her. It also didn’t help that he wasn’t writing her enough. You have to put a lot of effort into long distance relationships. While it’s easier nowadays with technology, it’s still a lot of work. I’m not trying to justify Sharon’s actions, but I can understand her losing interest in him. And speaking of Sharon, let’s talk about her. Watching Sharon in this episode reminded me of my best friend because we had this similar situation. Long story short, she was Sharon, I was Maria, and the guy who emotionally abused me (I mentioned him in a couple of reviews) was Jason. Back to Sharon I understand that Alden wasn’t giving her what she wanted, but that’s no excuse for her to treat him like that. Even when he did make an attempt, she wasn’t happy. Granted it was a little too late since she had already fallen for Jason, but at least he tried. She did Maria and Alden wrong and we don’t know if she told them she kissed Jason off screen or not. If she didn’t, she definitely should have. If she did, I don’t understand how either of them could forgive her so quickly. I forgave my friend for practically doing the same thing but it took some time. It happened three years ago and I didn’t completely forgive her and move on until last year.

 

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BraceFace: S1, E23 “Angels Among Us”

Well folks it looks like we got another episode that aired out of order. Remember last episode where everyone graduated and Sharon and Maria were at summer camp? Well, in this episode they’re back in middle school and it’s Christmas. So if you’re impatiently waiting for the Christmas season to arrive, this episode ought to hold you until November 1st. I said November because I’ve seen Christmas stuff not to long after Halloween.

Our trio is walking to school and Maria runs into Sharon and Connor because she’s struggling to walk in snow shoes:

the-trio

Sharon tells her that it would be easier if she had snow shoes (I’m assuming a different kind) and Maria reveals that it’s her Christmas gift. Sharon scolds Maria for snooping at her Christmas gifts. No shame in it. My brother and I started doing this once we knew Santa didn’t exist (sorry if they’re kids reading this even though they shouldn’t be). Connor’s looking forward to his Irish grandfather paying him a visit. And Sharon has convinced her mom to cook a tofurkey (a portmanteau of tofu and turkey). She explains that once a year her family has an “out of year” experience. Her mom doesn’t work and bakes instead, they decorate the tree, and her brothers go door-to-door caroling. As they reach school, Nina and Allyson made a snowman with braces to mock Sharon. So they were anticipating for her to walk by? Imagine how dumb they would look if she didn’t show.

snowface

“SnowFace”

Seeing it reminds Sharon that her other favorite part of Christmas is not having to deal with Nina for two weeks. Mr. Hopoff has the class participating in Secret Santa. Oh, boy this ought to be interesting. I wonder who Sharon and Nina will be getting.

ninas-face-says-it-all

Nina’s face says a lot.

It’s Sharon’s turn to draw from the names and she screams causing the class to look at her like this:

girl-this-the-second-time-youve-done-this

Sharon, this is the third time you’ve done this. Pull it together.

Wow. The girls’ reactions were interesting. Gee, who did they get? Anywho, Sharon plays the scream off with a sneeze. Ha. After school, the trio is at the mall helping Sharon decide what to get for Nina. What? It was Nina? How shocking. Gee whiz, that makes me wonder who Nina got. Sharon remembers that Nina used to like angels and decides to get her that, but changes her mind when she remembers Nina taunting her earlier. Sharon tells Maria and Connor that she’s not going to get Nina a present. Boom! If I were in Sharon’s shoes, I won’t do it either. I would never spend my money on a gift for someone who treats me like shit.

The next day (I assume if so that’s not a lot of time to get someone a gift), everyone is opening their presents. Maria and Connor’s gifts are quite funny:

connor-and-marias-gifts

Connor asks Sharon about the bag she’s carrying (see the pic above) and Sharon tells them that she got Nina $5.00 worth of pennies. That’s funny, but she would have been better off giving her zilch. Connor thinks it’s a bit tacky of Sharon to do that, but Sharon explains that she didn’t have time to go to the mall and that at least she tried. She places the coins on Nina’s desk and Nina comes in with big basket and tells Sharon “Merry Christmas”. Wait? Nina was Sharon’s secret Santa? Unbelievable! I would have never guessed it! Nina looks around the room for her Secret Santa. While she’s waiting, she twirls her hair and tells them that she hates Secret Santas because she always get shitty ones and is glad that no one bothered to get her anything. After that she leaves the room.

Maria guilt trips Sharon into giving Nina her gift (a better one). Sharon promises that she’ll give it to her in January and Connor says that she can give it to her tonight since they get out of school early and she has time to go to the mall and buy her an angel. Sharon doesn’t want to do this because she wants to enjoy her Christmas. When Sharon gets home, she asks her mom for advice but she doesn’t have time to since she’s working. They go in the kitchen and Josh (hey buddy sometimes I forget you exist) has made a mess in the kitchen:

josh-makes-a-mess-in-the-kitchen

Sharon asks what Josh is doing and he explains to Sharon that he wants to celebrate Hanukkah (their dad is Jewish) this year so he’s making potato pancakes. Adam comes home and tells Helen that he just picked up Uncle Jerry from the airport. Helen is shocked that her cousin is visiting and apparently Adam didn’t tell her.

uncle-jerry

Uncle Jerry.

Apparently, he’s the weirdo in the family because he visits different relatives every year and camps outside their house. Because he forgot to tell her, Helen makes Adam help Uncle Jerry set up his tent. Josh decides to cook some more pancakes for his uncle and Helen just remembered that she needs to get back to her patient. So, that leaves Sharon to decorate the tree by herself. Sharon asks Adam and Jerry if they want to help decorate the tree, but they can’t because they have to set up the tent for Jerry. Sharon asks Josh to help, but he’s abstaining from celebrating Christmas.

Since Christmas isn’t turning to be what Sharon wanted, she’s decided to go ahead and get Nina her gift. Maria calls Sharon and asks her what Nina got her. Sharon hasn’t opened it yet, but decided to go ahead and open it anyway. The gift basket contains a t-shirt (that says “I Love Me”), bottles of shampoo and body lotion (from hotels), car calendars (from the dealership her dad owns), and a blue, stuffed cat.

i-want-one

I want one! It’ll be perfect addition to my collection of blue plush.

Maria tells Sharon that she’s been “re-gifted” because she gave Nina that stuffed animal for Secret Santa last year! Sharon is upset and calls Nina cheap and selfish. Maria interjects by telling Sharon that she was going to give her a bag of pennies, but Sharon fires back by saying that what Nina did was way worse. I’m going to have to agree with Sharon on this one. I think Sharon giving Nina pennies was too generous anyway. I wouldn’t even give my worst enemy a bag of pennies because they don’t deserve to receive any type of money from me. Just then, Sharon hears a noise outside and tells Maria she has to go. Sharon looks outside her window and sees Adam hanging on to a tree branch.

adams-just-hanging

Adam’s okay. He’s just hanging…

Adam explains to Sharon that Uncle Jerry wants him to put his food as high in the tree as he can because he’s afraid the bears will get it. Maybe Helen could squeeze in a therapeutic appointment with Jerry. It’ll be the perfect gift and more time to spend with family. Helen comes outside and tells Adam to get down from the tree and goes off on Uncle Jerry. He’s hurt and Helen feels bad for hurting his feelings. Adam comes down from the tree and tells his mom that she was wrong for yelling at Jerry. I don’t think Helen was wrong. Jerry is a nuisance. Helen goes back into the house and Josh and Sharon ask her to take them to the mall. Helen tells them that she can’t and reminds them to decorate the tree. Sharon tells her that she tried but no one was helping her and she looks towards Josh.

Josh just wants to celebrate his Jewish heritage and Sharon complains about no one sticking to tradition and doesn’t understand why Josh can’t celebrate both. Josh brings up a good point about Sharon breaking tradition by not having a turkey for Christmas. Sharon gets defensive and just wants everyone to respect her beliefs and Josh says the same thing. He walks away and Sharon gets upset about none of their traditions happening. Sharon reminds Helen about baking sugar cookies and Helen tells Sharon she can’t because of her workload and she’s stressed out. Sharon storms off saying that she’s going wherever a “real Christmas” is celebrated.

helen-stressed-out

Poor Helen is stressed.

Sharon goes over to Connor’s (she brings the dogs) and meets his Irish grandfather:

connors-dad-and-grandpa

The family resemblance is strong…

Connor’s father and grandfather argue over who’s grass is greener. Ha. The grandfather notices Sharon and points out her “sparkly teeth”. He says that Connor’s dad used to have teeth like that. Connor’s dad denies this and they start arguing again. Sharon asks if this is normal, but Connor has no problem with it because it’s entertaining. Arguments can be entertaining depending on the topic at hand. Sharon leaves Connor’s house and ends over to Maria’s. Maria’s parents offer Sharon food (Chinese and Italian that contains meat), but they forgot that Sharon’s a vegetarian.

marias-parents

Maria’s parents.

They go into the living room and we’re introduced to Kylie (no Jenner), Maria’s older sister:

kylie-no-jenner

Maria’s mom comes in the living room and calls for her husband so they can light the Yule log and wish on it. She explains to Sharon her Christmas traditions growing up and Maria’s dad walks in talking about how he grew up wishing on Chinese New Year. He offers Sharon some food that promotes good luck and strong family relationships. Because she is the guest, Sharon is offered to give the first wish on the Yule log. Sharon wishes to have the same, family atmosphere at her house tonight. Sharon leaves Maria’s house and heads home.

She goes inside and Josh is playing the piano. Sharon asks him to play something “festive”. He says he doesn’t know any Hanukkah songs and Sharon convinces him to play a Christmas song and replace Christmas with Hanukkah. He plays “12 Days of Hanukkah”.

on-the-first-day-of-hannukkah

Sharon goes into the kitchen and sees her mom making cookies. Her mom apologizes for overworking and asks Sharon to look at the “tofurkey”:

tofurkey

The family goes outside (cause Jerry ain’t going in the house) and have Christmas dinner.  Jerry serves the family his “Winter Soup”. Jerry promises that he’ll go inside the house when they give the main course. Josh just remembered that he needs candles to light the menorah and Jerry just so happens to be carrying candles with him. Josh lights the candles and gives a prayer (I think) and it randomly decides to snow. You know it’s not a Christmas episode unless it snows.

random-snow

Snow from Nowhere.

Helen and Jerry start talking and Jerry brings up presents. Sharon just remembered about Nina’s present and she’ll take care of it…after dinner. Sharon goes over to Nina’s house and starts doing something in the snow and making snow angels.  The next morning Nina wakes up and sees this outside her window:

sharons-gift-to-nina

Not a bad Christmas episode. It was nice to see Connor and Maria’s families. I do wish that Richard would have been in this episode, but it was nice to see one of Helen’s family members. In my opinion, it would have been a better Christmas episode if the entire episode was about Sharon wanting a traditional Christmas. I just didn’t get the point of adding in Sharon being Nina’s secret Santa and her having to get her a present because they didn’t go anywhere with it. It added no significance because it’s not like Nina turned over a new leaf or something. I don’t think Helen was wrong about Jerry. Helen had no idea that Jerry would be coming over and he was just being a pest the whole time. She didn’t want him there and on top of her being overworked during the holidays. I think she was justified in going off on him. As for Sharon, I understand her wanting to have her traditional Christmas but I also understand Josh’s perspective. Christmas is her favorite time of the year and probably brings her a lot of happiness. Of course, that isn’t to say her friends or her boyfriend don’t make her happy. Josh wanted to do something different and celebrate his Jewish heritage. I do love it when shows give the spotlight to other holidays. Not everyone celebrates Christmas (which is why people say Happy Holidays so stop getting mad when people don’t say Merry Christmas) and I love Rugrats (childhood classic of mine) for doing Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa specials.

 

 

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BraceFace: S1, E22 “Camp Kookalah”

We’re at Episode 22 and we’re four episodes away from the start of season 2! Time really does fly. It seemed like only yesterday I started my BraceFace reviews, when I didn’t know how to screenshot and uploaded my reviews inconsistently. (sniffles) They grow up so fast. I’ve been itching to get to season 2 because it’s my favorite. I’m not going to tell you why I enjoy it because I would be giving you spoilers and that’s something I’ve been trying to avoid. When I give my overall thoughts on an episode, I’ll say that this issue will come up again or we’ll see “X” in future episodes. But enough rambling, let’s get right into this review.

Our favorite eight-graders are graduating middle school! Yay! It does seem a bit random, I kinda wish they would have hinted at it in a previous episode or two but whatever.

graduation-ceremony

Can you pick out Sharon, Brock, and Alden’s family?

There’s Maria:

maria-at-graduation

You know, I’m glad they’re not wearing caps and gowns. Why? In many TV shows, kids graduating from elementary/middle school are wearing caps and gowns. When I graduated from both, I never wore cap and gowns. They gave us a dress code on what we had to wear. For example, girls had to wear white dresses and black shoes. I was disappointed that I didn’t get to wear a cap and gown. I would seen wear one until I graduated high school and again when I graduated college. However I am annoyed that they’re being handed their diplomas on stage. That never happens. You usually get them after the ceremony.

And here’s Sharon and she looks gorgeous!

sharon-looking-good-at-graduation

Aren’t those her mom’s earrings that she wore w/o permission and lost that one episode?

We get some post-graduation pics.

After graduation, they have a little graduation party at Sharon’s house. Connor is excited about going to space camp for two months, while the girls are excited about starting high school. I remember feeling like this when I graduated middle school. While high school was no picnic, it was definitely better than middle school. You couldn’t pay me to relive those days. Helen comes down stairs and shares her middle school yearbook with Sharon and Maria. Helen used to have a best friend that she was close to (like Sharon and Maria), but they grew apart once they got to high school. The girls are confident that that won’t happen to them, but their facial expressions say otherwise.

concerned-about-the-future

They change the subject to Camp Kookalah (weird name), where they’ll be spending their summer. The girls arrive at camp and the camp counselor assigns the girls to their cabins. Sharon asks her why her name wasn’t called because she’s supposed to be in the cabin with the older girls. The counselor explains to Sharon that one of their counselors in training (CIT) backed out at the last minute and need a replacement. Although Sharon isn’t qualified to be a CIT until next year, she’s first in line since her birthday is before the other girls. Sharon isn’t sure if she should accept the offer or not. Meanwhile, Maria and all of the other members of Cabin 8 get comfortable in their cabin and wonder who their counselor will be.

They’re start making fun of a counselor named Carol, who they hope they don’t get and surprise, surprise who did they get?

introducing-carol

Introducing Carol.

Carol explains that counselors must mentor a CIT and just take a wild guess at who it is. Yep. Sharon.

maria-is-stunned

Sharon and Maria are kayaking (I think that’s what that is). Maria is upset that she’s not a CIT like Sharon, but believes that they’ll still be spending time together. Then, some guys tip over their canoes.

someones-plotting

During lunch, the girls angrily watched the guys laughing at them. One of the girls thinks that one of the guys likes her because of it. This is not something we should be teaching girls. Remember when you were 5 and some boy pulled on your ponytail and adults were telling you that means he likes you? Don’t buy it! A guy being a dick to you does not mean he likes you. This is why women end up dating guys who treat them like crap later on. Rant over, back to the review. Sharon walks by and Maria invites her to sit with them, but she can’t because she’s supposed to sit with the counselors.

you-can-see-the-hurt-on-her-face

You can see the hurt on Maria’s face.

Carol introduces Sharon to all of the other counselors and CITs. Carol tells Sharon about the Bald Eagle Award and that if she studies Carol closely, she might win since all of the CITs who she’s mentored in the past have won. Later, Carol shows the girls how to shoot an arrow. She asks Sharon to take over why she goes to the bathroom. Sharon attempts to do what Carol showed them, but Maria tries to tell Sharon how to do it. Sharon gets mad at Maria and ends up missing the arrow. While they’re playing tennis, Sharon tells Maria how she didn’t like that she “showed her up”. They get into an argument and Sharon tells Maria that she’s trying to win the award because she’s never won anything in her life. Maria is understanding and asks Sharon if she wants to hang out at their cabin. Sharon can’t go because they’ll be a counselors and CIT party going on and it’s after curfew.

At the party, one of the counselor’s makes fun of the girls in her cabin for being juvenile. Sharon, not wanting to feel left out, does the same thing. Cabin 8 is spying on their little party and Maria is complaining about having to be in the bed at 9. Hell, I’d complain too. When I was their age, I never went to bed at 9 not even on a school night. The boys at the camp come bursting in their cabin and raid the place.

the-boys-sabotage-cabin-8

The next day Carol is upset to hear about it, but she cares more about her clean record since this is her last year at Camp Kookalah and doesn’t want the girls to seek revenge. You thought the boys were done with their pranks on the girls? Think again.

they-strike-again

Cabin 8 is at the lake plotting their revenge, but they stop talking once Sharon comes by. Maria tells them that Sharon is cool and she tells her their revenge plan on the boys. Sharon doesn’t think this is a good idea, but the girls are going to do it anyway. Later, Sharon is with the other CITs and counselors. One counselor says she would have no problem seeking revenge. Sharon tries to be on the campers’ side, but Carol tells Sharon she should stop trying to be friends with them and that they have to respect her. I kinda have to side with Carol on this one. When you’re the authority, you shouldn’t be concerned with being friends with everyone. You have to do your job. We cut to Cabin 8 and Maria wakes up her cabin mates so they can start the raid. Just as soon as they open the door, Carol is right there.

carol-catches-them

Carol: Going on a raid? Not on my watch!

Carol tells all of them to go back inside, but before Maria goes inside she hears Carol thanking Sharon for the tip. The next day, Sharon’s running trying to catch up to Maria but she’s not slowing down. Sharon catches up to Maria and apologizes, but Maria isn’t trying to hear any of it. Maria runs faster and Sharon tries to go after her, but she trips and falls.

sharon-falling-on-hard-times

Now that’s what I call falling on hard times (ba dum tss)

During Lunch, they even give Sharon deadly stares and one of them calls her a trader. Sharon sits with the counselors and CITs and Carol brags about Sharon snitching on her cabin. Carol tells Sharon that it’s her day off and she won’t be back until tomorrow morning. One of the counselors asks Sharon if she’s afraid they’ll seek revenge and Sharon denies it, but deep down she knows the truth. And let the pettiness began. Cabin 8 pours paint on Sharon, hits Sharon with numerous balls, and puts a huge rock in her backpack during the hiking trip. During dinner, Sharon sees that she’s been rated “Worst CIT” by the campers, but one of the counselors tells her not to take it seriously. Right before they all go to bed, Sharon tries to get on Cabin 8’s good side and they’ve planted a whoopee cushion in her bed.

how-mature

How mature…

Sharon, wanting things to go back to the way they were, decides to win Cabin 8 back over by going on a raid to get revenge on the boys. They’re all excited about it except Maria, who tries to talk Sharon out of it but she won’t listen. They go to the storage shed and get vegetable dye and spaghetti. They sneak into the boys’ senior cabin and we don’t get to see what exactly they did. We’ll have to wait until later in the episode. The girls tell Sharon that she’s cool and Maria chimes in saying that they were mean to her, but Sharon says that she deserved it. (sighs) I’ll wait until the end to rant about this. Sharon and Maria kiss and make up. Sharon asks the girls which road they want to take to get back to their camp. They can either take the road or the woods. Maria is tired of the woods (shocking) so they decide to take the road. A bunch of 13 year old girls walking down the road late at night sounds totally safe. They start walking and Maria hears a car coming and guess who happens to be driving the car.

look-whos-also-on-the-road

Sharon tells them to hide in the ditch and they do so, but Carol sees someone and her headlight lands on Sharon and her braces have to get some shine…no pun intended. Sharon assumes the worse and thinks she’s going to get kicked out of camp. Fortunately for her, they’re giving her a second chance. They were going to kick her out, but a “camper” put in a good word for her. Hmm…I wonder who that could be. Sharon and Maria have a sappy best friend moment and we couldn’t leave this episode without finding out what the girls did to the boys.

nice-prank-girls

Yeah, I didn’t really like this episode. I appreciate the change of scenery and showing some new characters, but that’s about it. Okay, let’s get into my issues with this episode. I understand that Sharon felt conflicted between being an authority and wanting to be friends with everyone. We see this with parents. You have parents who want to be their child’s friend and who have the ones who are just trying to be a parent. Personally, I think they’re should be a balance when it comes to it. Children should be allowed to confide to their parents when something’s wrong. Sadly, I don’t have that type of relationship with my mom. I can’t talk to her about shit because she’s judgmental, close-minded, and has an ignorant way of thinking. However, parents should put their foot down when it comes to their kids and not allow them to do whatever they want. I didn’t like how Cabin 8 treated Sharon because she told on them and it annoyed me that Sharon thought that she deserved it. No, you didn’t deserve it. You were just doing your job and you wanted that award. I could see if it were one of those scenarios where Sharon had abused her authority, but that wasn’t the case. She said she never won anything in her life and I wish Maria understood that more. I get the whole “Nothing’s more important than friendship” message, but should you really give up pursuing an award (which would be very beneficial to you)? If Maria was a real friend, she would truly understand that Sharon was doing her job and not be pissed. I do think that it was a little unfair to not let Cabin 8 seek revenge on the boys. Carol was selfish and only cared about her image as a counselor at the camp.

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BraceFace S1, E21 “Skipped”

Remember Alden’s band with Brock? Well if you enjoyed them, they’re back! Oh, and it looks like they added a new member as well:

Carmen

They’re at Brock’s house in the garage practicing (because that’s where all bands go to practice) and Brock’s father comes in to pull the plug on them…pun intended:

Brock's dad pulling the plug

Brock asks his dad if they were good, but Brock’s dad tells him that they’re too loud. Brock takes this as a compliment, but Brock’s dad tells him that practice is over and he’s got more important things to do like homework. Oh he’s one of those parents who don’t allow their kids to have any fun. At school, Sharon asks Maria if Alden is looking at her. Jesus Christ, your first line in the episode is worrying if Alden is looking at you. Maria tells her to stop worrying and that he couldn’t care less. Thank you Maria for saying “couldn’t care less” instead of “could care less”. Sharon goes on that Alden hasn’t paid attention to her in weeks and hasn’t noticed her “new haircut”. (gasps) Sharon got a new haircut? Oh I didn’t notice.

Sharon's new haircut

Alden and his band, who goes by Mangled Metal, are going over poster designs. Brock thinks that they need to worry about performing at JamFest. Alden tells him to relax since they made the first cut, but Brock is bent on proving to his father that music isn’t a waste of time and that they’ll “make it”. The band thinks of a gimmick to make them stand out and Brock thinks of putting girls in the band. Nina overhears the guys talking and decides she wants in. Brock tells her that they’ll be holding auditions after school. Sharon and Maria have been eavesdropping the whole time (you can see their heads turned to the guys in the background) and Sharon doesn’t seem too thrilled.

Sharon's pissed

Wasn’t intending on using a screenshot of Maria’s face like that, but it’s too damn funny not to use.

Sharon tells Maria that she wants to audition to prevent Nina from getting closer to Alden. I feel like I’m watching the first few episodes of BraceFace all over again with this “Nina’s plotting to steal Alden” thing. Maria warns her about performing at gigs (if they ever get booked), but Sharon doesn’t care. The guys are watching the auditions and I must say they look pretty badass in those shades!

Looking pretty badass in those shades

Nina and Allyson come in for their audition and they annoy the hell out of me saying “ooh ooh ah ah” repeatedly.

Rap music video audition

Well this just turned into an audition for a rap music video.

Brock’s impressed, but Alden is over it. Nina comes over to Alden, takes off his shades, and fails at seducing him.

Nina flirting with Alden

But given his expression here, I might have to take that back.

I guess she turned him on

Alden, what are you doing?!

Nina and Allyson come out and taunt Sharon and Maria. Sharon and Maria are next for their audition and their singing is annoying, but not as bad as Nina and Allyson. They even changed their hair!

Power to the people

I love Maria with her hair down.

Brock compliments them and Alden tells them that they’re in. Nina is standing outside the door and is pissed. Brock gets off the phone with the people in charge of Jamfest and they’ll be auditioning next Tuesday at 11 am. Maria points out that they have class during that time and Brock says that they’ll just skip. Sharon says they’re going to have skip the entire day since it takes an hour to get there, but Brock doesn’t care. Sharon’s afraid to get caught, but Brock tells her that they’ll replace them with Nina and Allyson if they don’t and Sharon quickly agrees.

The day of the big audition is here and Sharon fakes being sick. Helen just so happens to have a conference that day and doesn’t want to leave Sharon at home by herself. She encourages her mom to go and she agrees. Everyone was able to sneak out and Carmen’s (the new guy) mom dropped him off. She didn’t fall for him being sick. He told her the truth and she was okay with it. If only all parents were like that. Maria isn’t taking any chances and puts on sunglasses and a hat to disguise herself.

Maria's not taking any chances

In class, Mr. Hopoff (he’s back) points out that the band is missing and Nina tries to drum up some suspicion, but Connor comes in to save their asses by saying he heard they all came down with something. Nina doesn’t buy the bullshit, but Mr. Hopoff tells her to stop being a Negative Nancy. Mangled Metal is on the bus annoying everyone with their loud music. The bus driver tells them to keep it down. Brock doesn’t take the guy seriously, but the bus driver gets serious real quick and Brock turns off the music. Why did Brock do something stupid like that? The bus driver could have kicked them off the bus and they would be all fucked. Sharon’s cell phone rings and Maria tells her not to answer it, but she does anyway. Ah, the early 2000s. The days before we had caller id on our cell phones. It’s Connor and he plays along with Sharon being sick. Nina and Allyson come up from behind him. Nina snatches the phone from him and threatens to expose Sharon. Sharon gets worried, but Brock reassures her that they’ll be back before school ends. He’s says that Nina’s bad but she’s not evil. Oh, Brock if only you knew.

The band gets to the audition and Sharon has changed clothes. Where were they? Was Maria carrying them in the bag she had earlier? And speaking of which, where is the bag? (sighs) Either way, I kinda like this outfit on Sharon.

Sharon's outfit

Maria complains that they’ve been waiting for over an hour, but Brock tells her that most of the bands that end up performing at JamFest already have record deals. If they already have record deals, then why should they have to audition? I’m not 100% sure how the music industry works, but I’m positive that a recording artist shouldn’t have to audition to perform at a festival. I believe their manager is supposed to get them a gig. Brock looks up and is star struck by a band called “Full Form” walking in. They look like they’re wearing bras.

Men in bras

Men in Black? More like Men in Bras.

The band’s name is called and it’s show time! I didn’t know they even had a song. All of the times we’ve seen them rehearse, they never sang. The judges are impressed and they’ve decided to let them perform at JamFest. The band is ecstatic, but Alden realizes that they need to hurry up and get back home in time. Nina and Allyson skip lunch to go to Sharon’s house to prove that she’s skipping school and she’s got her camcorder to prove it. They look for a way to get in the house and find an open window that Nina tries to climb into. Meanwhile, the band catches a bus and the bus driver’s cynical “Enjoy the ride, children” has them all looking worried.

Something's not right

Nina gets to Sharon’s window and tries to record her empty room, but Pigger and Sampson (the dogs), cause her to fall in the bushes. Unfortunately for Nina, the camcorder has mud all over it.

So much for Nina's plan

Meanwhile, Sharon and Maria are in the bathroom washing their hands in the same sink. Idk why they’re washing their hands together, it’s kinda weird. Maria has a bad feeling, but Sharon tells her to stop being paranoid. Ah, the tables have turned. Sharon’s always the one being paranoid. Sharon’s cell rings and she answers it and Nina’s on the line. Nina lies to Sharon about going through her house, but Sharon isn’t falling for it. She starts grossing Nina out by fake puking and I love it! Why can’t Sharon be more like this when it comes to Nina? We cut back to the band and they all have fallen asleep on the bus. First rule of playing hooky is never fall asleep on the bus. Pfft rookies. Sharon wakes up and notices that they’re nowhere near Elkford. She wakes up everyone else and asks the bus driver why they aren’t in Elkford yet. The dick bus driver tells her that he has to make 10 other stops and they’ll be in Elkford by 5:00. He also tells them that they’re on the wrong bus since they thought they were on the express bus. Okay, I just realized he’s the same bus driver from before. No wonder he was acting like such a condescending douchebag towards them.

The bus driver lets them off in the middle of nowhere and now the gang has to think about how they’re going to get home. Sharon tries calling someone on her cell phone, but she’s not getting a signal. Everyone else tries their phones and they have the same problem. Brock swears he’s going to help them get out of this. He gets the gang through cornfields, a river, and the trees and they end up at a country club. Oh and they’re covered in mud and shit.

They're all covered in shit

A guy there asks if they’re members. Brock tells him that they’re not and they steal one of the guy’s golf carts. The guy gets into his other cart and chases them. They stop and run inside the club, which leads them to the highway. And it starts to rain. And guess who just so happens to be driving on that same highway:

Nina and her mom

Duh! Duh! Duh!

Nina turns on the radio and we cut back to the band. Thunder strikes and Sharon’s braces picks up on the radio. Nina recognizes Sharon’s voice and sees the gang walking on the side of the highway. She tells her mom to pull over. Nina tells her mom she knows them and that they’re juvenile delinquents. You just had to ruin this “human moment” of yours, didn’t you? Nina’s mom also recognizes Sharon in the rain and gives them all a ride home. Nina’s mom asks what they were doing out here, but Nina interjects by snitching on them again. Nina’s mom tells her exactly what Mr. Hopoff told her earlier and tells everyone to excuse Nina because she just got finished with an intensive square dancing class. Sharon and Maria are pleased to hear this and Nina’s mom gives them brochures and invites them to come to the class. Haha.

Sharon gets back home and Adam tells her that their mom will be home late. He also covered for her, but she’s going to have to pay. Brock gets dropped off at home, but sadly for him he’s been busted. The next day, Brock tells everyone that he won’t be able to play at JamFest. They decide they won’t play at JamFest without Brock. Nina walks up to the gang and threatens to snitch to the principal that they were skipping, but Sharon blackmails her with her square dancing pictures.

Nina square dancing

Another great episode! As much as I can’t stand Brock, he was pretty likeable in this episode. I felt bad for him when he got busted. He didn’t deserve it especially since he’s the one who was so passionate about performing at JamFest. If anything, Sharon should have been the one to get busted. The only reason why she even joined Mangled Metal is because she was so insecure (this won’t be the last we see of her insecurity). But then again, Sharon hasn’t gotten into enough trouble this season. I do appreciate Connor having the gang’s back despite him not being included. It was nice to see the writers revisit the band and if you love them, don’t worry this won’t be their last appearance. I would have liked to see more of Carmen. He didn’t have many lines and it felt like he was a background character most of the time. Thankfully, he appears in future episodes (if I recall) so not all is lost. I really enjoyed these episodes when Sharon doesn’t let Nina get to her (aside from earlier in the episode). I wish she was like this all of the time, but then again it wouldn’t be very interesting. It was pretty ballsy of her to blackmail Nina. I didn’t like how much of a dick the bus driver was to them. I understand that he was annoyed (and rightfully so) with them playing loud music on the bus earlier, but that doesn’t make it right for him to be a straight up asshole. I don’t think Nina thought it through with going to Sharon’s house to prove she wasn’t at home. I didn’t mention it, but there was a scene where she was going to get in the house by using a key they place under the doormat (only in cartoons where people do things like that). If I were Sharon, I would have called her out for attempting to break in her house.

 

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BraceFace: S1, E20 “The Easy Way Out”

Looks like Sharon and Maria are back to their sleepovers again. Maria and Sharon are talking, but it’s one of those scenarios where people think they’re talking about the same thing, but they’re not. Maria’s talking about some skateboarding she sees on TV and Sharon’s talking about the cold sore that’s on her lip.

Cold Sore

Ugh, I hate it when I get those.

Maria tells her it’s no big deal because it’ll go away, but Sharon’s afraid it won’t because her one month anniversary with Alden is coming up. I get that teens are insecure about their looks and everything, but why hasn’t Sharon realized that Alden isn’t concerned about things like that? He didn’t care that you got braces and it didn’t stop him from liking and pursuing you. Maria rightfully tells her that any guy that dumps you over petty shit like that isn’t worth it. Just then, a commercial for a psychic hotline comes on. Sharon scoffs at how stupid it is and Maria gets on the phone and calls the psychic. She poses as Sharon (She does a pretty good impression of her) and asks if her cold sore will go away by Monday, but Sharon has her doubts.

Why are Brock’s clothes different?

Brock's clothes are different

Peep the kid sitting behind Sharon. What’s up with his eyes? Is he a Ditto?

That kid's eyes

Oh, look another teacher at Mary Pickford Junior High who isn’t Mr. Hopoff!

Another teacher

The teacher informs the students about an important math exam coming up and stresses that they must study. After class, Connor asks Sharon if the cold sore is really that bad and she gives us TMI. Connor switches the subject about the big math test and Brock walks on by entertaining people with us armpit fart noises. The trio talk about how Brock got the lowest score on the math exam last year and how they don’t want to end up like him. Intelligence doesn’t equal maturity, guys. The girls start worrying about the exam, but Connor tells Maria that she has nothing to worry about because she always gets good grades. Don’t tell me we’re doing this “Asians are supposed to be smart” stereotype. Connor warns Sharon that she should actually study this time around because last year she pulled an all-nighter. But, Sharon says that she still managed to pass the test and has a strict studying schedule for this year. Studying at the last minute and still able to pass? Sharon will have no problem in college.

Sharon sees Alden and hides behind her friends. They have to go get some extra tutoring for the exam and they leave Sharon.

He picked up her book how cute

He picked up her book after she dropped it. How cute.

He asks Sharon about the scarf and she tries to find an excuse and he takes if off and Sharon hides her face telling Alden not to look. He tells her that she looks fine, even though she’s sweating.

Cold sore is gone

Meanwhile, Adam is going to door-to-door selling beauty products in a pink coat and it’s not working out for him. Those door-to-door MLM jobs are scams. People, please don’t fall for them. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of encountering these scams during my job search. They lie to you and say they’re offering many positions, but they’re really offering sales positions. These people get really pissed if you confront them about it. Because of my experiences, I know a scam when I see it. If something about the position or the company seems off to you, trust your instinct. Do your research about the company. That’s my little PSA about job scams. Back to the review. While walking home from school, Sharon wonders how the psychic knew that her cold sore would be gone by Monday. The girls run into Adam and tease him about his job and his inability to keep one. Oh yeah, these MLM job scams prey on high school and college students as well. I remember getting letters from them in the mail in high school. No one is safe! Adam is doing a project at school about stocks and he asks Sharon if she could loan him some money so he can invest in the real stock market and make millions. The girls laugh and walk away.

Adam resorts to asking Josh for money. We haven’t seen Josh in a while. He made a brief appearance in last week’s episode, but I didn’t mention it because it wasn’t important. Anyways, Josh refuses to give Adam anything. Josh suggests that he get a credit card and tells him about a kid who got a credit card in his dog’s name. Adam thinks it’s a stupid idea, but sees their cat Moishe and decides to put the card in his name. This reminds me of that episode of “That’s So Raven” when Cory found out that his pet rat Lionel had a credit card in his name. Sharon is in her room and supposed to be studying but she can’t stop thinking about her anniversary with Alden and is worried that he hasn’t mentioned it.

She draws better than me

She draws better than me.

The commercial for Madame La Faux’s psychic hotline comes on and Sharon calls her. Sharon is taking French and she doesn’t realize that the psychic’s last name means false. What a shame. The psychic isn’t who you think she is.

Madame La Faux

She “knows” that Sharon has a boyfriend and that an important date is coming up. Sharon gets excited that La Faux knows about all of these things, but if Sharon used her brain she would know that she told her all of those things. Sharon gets caught up and goes over the one minute free deal and asks La Faux about her and Alden’s future. She lies to Sharon telling her what she wants to hear and is saying French words that make so sense. How is Sharon not noticing this?!

You've gone way over a minute

Sharon: Have I gone over a minute? La Faux: Oh no, just barely a minute.

And thanks to Moishe’s credit card, Adam has made over a thousand dollars in the stock market. The next day Sharon gushes to her friends about what La Faux told her about her future with Alden. Alden comes by and asks Sharon if she wants to hang out Wednesday night confirming La Faux’s “predictions”. Connor and Maria warn Sharon that she better study or else she’ll fail math. Sharon crosses her heart that she’ll study tonight and if you thought she was going to study, you’re crazy.

Sharon's studying so hard for her exam

Look at Sharon studying so hard for her math exam.

 

Sharon asks La Faux what present will Alden get her. La Faux tells Sharon that he’ll give her something personal. Sharon mentions that she always wanted his hockey jacket and La Faux says that she was “just about to say that”. Sharon then asks where he’ll take her. Before La Faux answers, she tells her kids whose names are Jackson and Matilda to stop splashing in the tub. Note: La Faux told Sharon that her and Alden would be giving their kids those names. She tells Sharon that he would take her somewhere flashy. Alden ends up taking Sharon to the video arcade. Sharon gives Alden his gift and it’s a bracelet of some sort.

Is that a ponytail holder

Looks like a ponytail holder.

Sharon tells him happy anniversary and Alden gives a look that he knows he’s in some deep dodo.

Aniversary

A-Anniversary…?

The lasers that are flying around in the arcade hit Sharon’s braces and temporarily blind Alden. He uses his hockey jacket to shield himself and Sharon mistakes it as him giving her his jacket.

Yeah just take my hockey jacket

The next day Sharon gushes about La Faux being right about everything, but Maria and Connor hit her up with math questions and she’s just as lost as Alden was last night. The exam’s tomorrow and everybody is studying even Brock. That night, Sharon starts cramming for the exam and starts having an anxiety attack. I know this sounds a bit fucked up, but I like that they added in the anxiety attack. Just a reminder about how real this show can get. She runs out of her room and goes into the kitchen to calm down. She finds Adam there sucking on his baby blanket. Sharon gets Adam to confess everything and he reveals that he lost a lot of money. Sharon asks La Faux about Adam’s money problem, but La Faux tells her she sees dental floss and soap.

Well she's right about something

Well she finally told the truth for once.

Sharon then asks her about her math exam tomorrow. Getting fed up and wanting to go to sleep, La Faux asks her husband to hand her a book about things that psychics say and gives her a vague response. Sharon asks her what it means and La Faux lies about predicting the phone is going to disconnect, when she actually hangs up on Sharon.

Rude bitch

Rude Bitch.

The next day Adam is unsure about what La Faux said, but Sharon reassures him that she hasn’t been wrong yet. At school, Sharon tries to figure out what La Faux’s words meant. Connor sits next to her and she thinks that he might have the answers, but he and Brock trade seats because Brock lost his glasses and needs to see the board.

Brock without glasses

I knew something was a little different about Brock.

It just occurred to me. Why does Brock need to sit in the front for an exam? They’re not looking at the board so what’s the point? The teacher passes out the exam and tells the students that it’s multiple choice and they have an hour to complete it. He wishes good luck to Brock and everyone laughs. How embarrassing for everyone to know that you got the lowest score on a test. The test starts and Sharon still doesn’t know what La Faux meant. She just decides to wing it. Hey I’ve winged plenty of tests I barely studied or didn’t study for at all and still managed to do well. Anyway, the results are out (Damn that was fast) and Brock scored a 51%. Maria and Connor scored well. Time for Sharon to look at her own score and it should come as no surprise to you how she did. She did worse than Brock did last year and the students who are standing behind them laugh at her.

Students laughing at Sharon

Sharon is embarrassed (I’m embarrassed for her) and she’s starting to realize that La Faux is a well, a faux. Her friends tell her that she’s gullible for believing all that psychic crap. Connor suggests that she ask Mr. Herbie (the math teacher) will let her do a makeup exam if she asks nicely and gives a legit excuse. Alden comes by and gives Sharon her “monthiversary” gift.

Sharon's monthiversary gift

It’s cute! I want one myself.

Sharon loves it and Alden asks Sharon to give back his hockey jacket. Sharon now believes that La Faux is crap and she rushes home to tell Adam not to do anything she said, but it’s too late. But they have nothing to worry about because Adam “broke even”. I wish I knew what that meant. Adam hands over the credit card to Sharon and she cuts it up. Helen gets a $500 bill in the mail from the psychic hotline and confronts Sharon and Adam about it. In order to pay back all the money, Sharon gets the same job as Adam. Jesus, they’re recruiting middle school students as well. I won’t be surprised if Josh ends up getting involved in that scam. Sharon unknowingly ends up at La Faux’s house selling beauty products:

Sharon comes face to face with La Faux

Sharon promises her that some cream will get rid of the bags under her eyes. Sharon, not wanting to scam the woman like La Faux did her, tells her that the cream won’t do that. La Faux tells Sharon she appreciates her honesty. Mind you this is coming from the woman who lies to people for a living. You know, I’m surprised La Faux didn’t recognize Sharon’s voice but I guess she didn’t realize it because she gets so many phone calls.

I enjoyed this episode more than I recall. I do like that the writers introduced scams. Teens and young adults are the ones who fall prey to them the most. I know that Sharon was supposed to be gullible, but it would have been nice if she had used some common sense when it came to La Faux. I lowkey wanted Sharon to lie to La Faux about the makeup as payback. Yeah, it’s Sharon’s fault she was so naïve but it’s not right to lie and scam people. I also like subplot with Adam and the credit card, though I hate he didn’t receive any type of punishment. Running up the phone bill is nothing compared to almost making your family homeless. People don’t realize with credit cards that you have to pay back the money. It was nice that the writers incorporated the stock market in the subplot as well. I’ll admit I don’t have a clear understanding of them, but it was nice to see that included. Remember in a previous review when I said that there would be hints that Alden is clueless when it comes to relationships? Yeah this is one of them and trust me there’ll be more later on. I hate that the school posts the students’ math scores on the wall for everyone to see. It’s humiliating to the students who don’t do well and it just shows once again that a student’s intelligence is based on how well they do on a test. It wasn’t a test, but I remember in high school that there was a list of seniors who were failing and it was posted outside of the guidance counselor’s office every year. It was supposed to be a wakeup call for them to snap out of senioritis. I’m just not a fan of humiliating students like that. I hate it when teachers call on students and if they don’t know the answer; they humiliate them in front of the class. It happened to me in college a few years ago. The professor threw a hissy fit because the class didn’t understand the material and marked us all absent for the day (To this day, I’m still mad about it).

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BraceFace: S1, E19 “Whose Life is it, Anyway?”

Friday reviews are back on. Why do you ask? After a week at my job, I was let go because I wasn’t a “good fit”. I’m pretty bummed about it considering I liked the job and I was good at it. It’s back to job hunting again, which I hate I have to go through again because it’s so goddamn frustrating. Hopefully another job opportunity comes my way soon because I’m just exhausted from all of this. I’ve been unemployed for too fucking long and I just can’t seem to get my foot in the door no matter what I do. Okay let me stop right here with my rant because I know I will go on and on about it. I’ll reserve my rant for Tumblr, where I give my thoughts and rant about things going on in my life. Anywho, let’s start the review.

Sharon’s at the grocery store buying food for Connor’s birthday party. It’s been confirmed that Tally and Connor decided to remain broken up after the events from the last episode. I do like that they’re picking up from last episode. Connor finally gets a backbone and tells Sharon that she doesn’t spend enough time with him, which is something I’ve been mentioning for God knows how long. Sharon thinks Connor is just “weirding out” and that it’s “in his mind”. Bullshit. You hardly hang out with him and you’re always with Maria or Alden. He’s not being “weird”; he just wants you to be the friend you’re supposed to be. Helen is also shopping with her and has ideas to do a Hawaiian-themed party.

Helen hawaii theme

Sharon tells her that no one does theme parties past the age of six. Bullshit. I know plenty of people in my age group who has through theme parties. Hell, my aunt had a Hawaiian-themed party for her birthday back in 2004. And David is also on board with the idea. It’s nice to see David again even though he’s not my favorite.

David is back

Sharon reminds Helen to get the ingredients for the Tofu Cheese Cake, but Helen already ordered it. Sharon tells her that she wanted to make it herself, but Helen tells her that it’s just cheaper to order it and David agrees. Sharon throws a temper tantrum and storms out of the store leaving Helen and David looking embarrassed.

After paying for everything, David and Helen leave the store and Helen looks for Sharon. Helen apologizes to Sharon that promises that she’s going to let Sharon make her own decisions. She gives Sharon the money to buy the ingredients for the cake. Sharon goes into the store and she stops when she hears a girl meditating and notices the tattoo on her stomach. She walks over to the girl and the girl explains to yoga to Sharon. Sharon decides to sign herself and Connor for it. She was going to get Connor the art tree lessons he wanted, but yoga seemed so much more “interesting” to her. (sighs) If I were Connor, I would have dumped Sharon as a friend a long time ago. She’s really selfish. At Connor’s party (held at Sharon’s house), Connor and Maria are dancing.

Connor and Maria dancing

I guess the rumors from last week’s episode were true. Connor really was cheating on Tally with Maria.

And we have everyone’s favorite couple sharing a dance:

Our favorite couple

David comes in crashing the party with his speakers to “liven up the party”. Alden and Brock stop what they’re doing and help David get things set up. Alden notices Sharon’s tattoo on her leg and Helen freaks out.

Sharon's henna tattoo

I kinda like it.

Sharon tells her that it’s a henna tattoo and it’ll wash off. Helen swears she’s okay with it, but you can clearly see she’s not.

Helen playing it cool

David tries to kill the awkwardness by turning the music back on, but Sharon turns it off because it’s time for Connor to open his presents. Sharon gives Connor her present for him and he’s disappointed since he’s been hinting at the art tree lessons for ages. He tries to play it off, but he’s bad at hiding his emotions like Helen. Sharon overhears Helen and David upstairs talking about her henna tattoo. She goes upstairs to listen closely. Helen is sure that Sharon is going to go out and get a real tattoo because “she doesn’t know what she wants”. This has Sharon pissed! Sharon heads back downstairs to where the party is and Maria is giving Connor his gift. She made him a card that says “Freedom” in Chinese.

how did connor get so tan

Connor is white. Why are his arms so tan?

And Sharon decides she wants it for her first, real tattoo. Everyone at the party is in awe, but Maria says there’s no way her mom will let her get a real tattoo. Sharon reassures that she knows how to handle her mom. The next day, Sharon starts kissing up to her mom with the ol’ “Breakfast in Bed” tactic.

Breakfast n bed

Sharon eases her way into asking Helen about getting a tattoo and she freaks out. Helen refuses to give Sharon permission to get a tattoo (if you’re under 18, you need a parent/guardian’s permission). Sharon argues that it’s her body, but Helen fires back and says that Sharon’s her daughter and she’s trying to stop her from making a huge mistake. Sharon is livid and calls her mom a hypocrite because she’s only letting Sharon make decisions that she likes. I have this issue with my mom as well. My mom always tells me and my brother that we’re grown and we need to act like it, but when we do she starts treating us like children.

Sharon goes downstairs to eat breakfast and Adam teases her for the “Bed in Breakfast” trick not working. Adam gives Sharon some tips on how to kiss up to their mom when they want something like cleaning out Helen’s car. At yoga class, Sharon complains to Connor about her mom while they’re doing their exercises. Connor tries to tell that yoga isn’t for him, but she insists that he can do it. No, Sharon you need to take the “L” (as the kids say) on this one. Sharon gets home from yoga class and decides to clean Helen’s car. And her car is so messy!

Messy car

Just then, Helen comes outside and tells Sharon to come in so she can talk to her. Helen tells Sharon that she has decided to let Sharon get the tattoo just as long as she gets to accompany her to the tattoo parlor for safety reasons. Sharon is ecstatic and now Helen is the best mom ever. While Helen is waiting for Sharon to leave yoga class, she’s on the phone with David saying “I know what I’m doing”. Uh-Oh. What does this psychologist have up her sleeve? She makes a stop at the doctor and it’s revealed that Helen herself has a tattoo of a disco ball on her butt.

A disco ball on her ass

She getting the tattoo removed and is making Sharon watch. Ah, I see what’s doing. You’re not fooling anyone. At school, Sharon explains to her friends that Helen got the tattoo after a sorority party and has decided that Sharon won’t be getting a tattoo.

Since when did Connor have melanin

Connor, how did you get so tan?

Nina overhears all of this and mocks Sharon for wanting a tattoo. I find this odd considering most teens think getting a tattoo is cool or maybe she’s just saying that because it’s Sharon. She tries to get Alden to be repulsed by the idea of it, but he think it’s cool. Whomp. Whomp. Brock asks Sharon when she’s getting the tattoo and Sharon tells him that her mom won’t let her. Nina says that if Sharon was really serious about getting a tattoo she’d get one despite her mother’s wishes. But not to worry, Sharon plans to anyway. The next day, Helen will be gone all day for the teen workshop that was mentioned earlier in the show. Helen asks Sharon if she knows where her keys are and Sharon throws Helen a bit of sass. I never had the balls to talk to my mom like that at 13. Hell, I still don’t have the balls to talk to my mom like that and I’m a grown woman. Helen tries to explain to Sharon that she’s only trying to get her to understand why she said no to the tattoo. As soon as Helen leaves, Sharon takes off her robe that has her regular clothes underneath and it’s time for Operation: Tattoo.

Operation tattoo

Sharon meets up with Maria at some rundown, dirty tattoo parlor. Maria is skeptical about the place, but Sharon has no problem with it since they didn’t ask for her age. I already know where this is going. I’ve seen this storyline a million times. They go inside and the place is disgusting. Sharon asks if she can watch the tattoo artist while he gives someone a tattoo. Meanwhile, Helen is at her workshop and she explains Sharon’s tattoo situation with the audience. After he’s finished with the guy, he asks Sharon what she wants. But before Sharon can answer, her braces start picking up signals from the radio in the parlor and sends electric waves to the tattoo needle and it comes to life.

It's alive

It’s alive!!!

The plug comes out of the socket and the tattoo artist tries to step on it, but fails. Maria uses the calligraphy kit she’s holding to stop the needle and ends up hitting Sharon in the process. Back at the workshop, someone interrupts Helen to inform her that Sharon is unconscious at the tattoo parlor. Later, Sharon’s on the phone with Alden telling him she’d have her tattoo if it wasn’t for Maria. Sharon hangs up the phone and Helen comes in giving her a cloth for her head and tells Sharon that the bump saved her from making a huge mistake and leaves. (sighs) I’ll wait until the end to give my thoughts. Sharon overhears Helen on the phone with David saying that she really needs to talk. Sharon mocks her mom and heads over to Connor’s house, who’s on the phone with Maria. Before he hangs up, Maria tells Connor that he needs to talk to Sharon about the yoga lessons. Right away, Sharon starts complaining to Connor about her mom, but Connor tries to talk to Sharon about the yoga lessons. He tells her that someone is making him do something that he doesn’t want to do. Sharon tells him that he shouldn’t let anyone run his life and she says the same for herself. Sharon goes back home and tells her mom that she’s getting a tattoo whether her mom likes it or not. Fed up, Helen agrees to let Sharon get a tattoo.

Helen takes Sharon to the tattoo parlor with Connor accompanying her. Sharon’s filling out the paperwork and asks her mom to sign it. She takes one look at Sharon and is afraid one, little tattoo will turn Sharon into this:

Goth Sharon

Sharon gives the paperwork to the front desk and asks Connor to join her in yoga to calm her nerves. Connor tells Sharon he doesn’t want to, but doesn’t listen. Connor finally grows a backbone and tells Sharon off. Yes! It’s about freaking time he did this! Can’t believe it took 19 episodes, but it finally happened! It would have been perfect if Connor realized how much of a shitty friend Sharon has been and let her go, but that’s wishful thinking. The tattoo artists calls Sharon and she goes in the back to get her tattoo. The tattoo artist looks over the paperwork and notices that the card that Maria wrote says Grapefruit instead of Freedom, but she’ll fix it. All of a sudden, Sharon doesn’t seem so sure about the tattoo anymore.

Look where Helen parked

Forgot to mention this earlier, but look where Helen parked. She should not have been behind the wheel.

Connor and Helen are waiting and Helen is a nervous wreck.

Helen is freaking out

Just then, Sharon comes out and she’s decided to get her ears pierced instead.

Sharon got her ears pierced

A heavy lift has been lifted off of Helen’s shoulders and Sharon apologizes to Helen, but Helen and Connor both forgive her.

This episode was a joy to review. I liked that we got more of Connor. It’s like the writers heard my complaints about the lack of Connor. I also liked that it was kind of a follow-up from last week’s episode. I really liked Connor in this episode. I’ve been rooting for him to finally stand up for himself to Sharon. Sharon is always bossing him around and she hardly ever hangs out with him. She’s selfish and I wish he would dump her as a friend. When Helen picked Sharon up from yoga class, she left Connor there all by himself. Yeah, I know that was for comic relief but it just shows how terrible she is. Their friendship kinda reminds me of Ginger and Dodie from “As Told by Ginger” (It’s a strong possibility I’ll be reviewing this show in the future, but not after this one). I say this because Ginger and Connor need to realize that Dodie and Sharon are horrible friends and they need to dump them. Now on to the tattoo situation, since that’s what this episode was mostly about. While I understand that Helen didn’t want Sharon to make the same mistake that she did, their situations are not the same. Sharon’s tattoo actually had a meaning, while Helen’s tattoo was random and it was after a sorority party (where she was probably drunk). I also didn’t like how Helen agreed to the tattoo, showed Sharon her dumb mistake, and then forbade her from getting one. It was just silly to me. I also hate that Sharon didn’t go through with the tattoo and said that she’s allowed to change her mind and she didn’t chicken out. Yeah, she’s allowed to change her mind but you went through all of this just to change your mind at the end. You chickened out, Sharon. Admit it.

 

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BraceFace: S1, E18: “Dissection Connection”

Sorry for the late upload of this review. Like I mentioned last week, I just started a new job. It’s my first full-time job so I have to get adjust to working 40 hours a week and adjust to getting up and going to bed earlier. Friday, I came home from work exhausted so that’s why there was no review. The plan was to have it uploaded yesterday, but something came up at the last minute. But enough about me, let’s get into this review because this is what you came here for.

Looks like Fall and Winter are over since the gang is back into their old outfits except for Sharon whose wearing a new outfit, but old shoes.

Sharon's new outfit

Sharon is asking Connor and Maria to tell her the “big news”. I just love it when we’re dropped off right into the plot. Connor and Tally have broken up for the fourth time. You know this doesn’t surprise me. I recall some episodes back that Connor said that he wasn’t seeing much of her. What bothers me is that we didn’t get more of Connor and Tally. We only got to see snippets of their relationship and that wasn’t enough. It would have been perfect character development for Connor. Since Maria mentioned that this was their fourth time breaking up, it was obvious that they were having problems in their relationship. I would have loved to see that play out. Connor explains that Tally broke up with her on the phone. Oh, yeah I remember when it was a big no-no to break up with someone on the phone. Now, you can break up with someone via text message or whatever social media site you’re using. Maria and Sharon remind Connor about all of the bad things that Tally has done. I guess this is the writers’ way of trying to give us a little insight about Tally. But the worst of it all is Tally spreading a rumor that Connor cheated on her with Maria, which caused them to break up. Ooh, they could have made an entire episode out of this! I’m a sucker for teen relationship drama. The gang has to go to Biology class and vows to pay Tally no mind while they’re in class. That’s right! They’re all in the same class. I remember this from episode 2.

Wait what’s this? Another teacher? Sorry Mr. Hopoff, you’re not the only teacher at Mary Pickford Junior High anymore:

A new teacher has been spotted

Tally is sitting right behind Sharon and Maria chewing and popping gum really loud. Sharon and Maria have every right to complain about it. People chewing loud is a huge pet peeve of mind. They see Tally passing a note during class and assume that Tally is starting another rumor and proceeds to shit talk her some more. The teacher tells the class to prepare for their frog dissections next week. Sharon yells out “Frog Dissection?!” and everyone’s facial expressions are priceless:

These expressions are priceless

“Girl, what is wrong with you?”

Sharon asks if the frogs are going to be alive and the teacher explains that they won’t be alive because they’ll already be dead. And of course, this concerns Sharon being the animal rights activist that she is. Sharon hates that she’s always alone when it comes to her beliefs. It’s understandable for her to feel this way. People think she’s some kind of freak for not wanting to eat meat or being so passionate about animals. Tally walks up to Sharon’s locker and tells her that she agrees with her and tells her about alternatives for dissections. Just then, Maria walks by and tells Sharon that they have to be somewhere and Sharon just walks away from Tally. That was pretty rude of Sharon to do that.  Sharon tries to convince Mrs. Marsh to let the students use a computer software, which Tally mentioned as an alternative, but Mrs. Marsh tells her that it’s too expensive and Sharon could fail the class if she refuses to do it. Now, Sharon’s going to have to come up with a legit reason to not dissect frogs. Sharon gets Connor and Maria to dress up as frogs.

Atrocious frog costumes

She tries to get them to take it seriously, but they end up playing around and play Leap Frog.

leapfrog

Sharon goes around the school trying to film students giving their thoughts about dissection, but they all fail miserably. Sharon’s next step is to get on the PA system and let her voice be heard, but the principal stops her and gives her a week of detention. Next, Sharon hands out flyers to everyone but everyone is tired of Sharon and her “Cut it Out” campaign.

Poor Sharon

Poor Sharon

Tally runs into Sharon and tells her that she’s going to start a petition and get the people in her neighborhood to sign it, but once again Maria and Connor walk by and Sharon walks away from Tally. Look I get why they think that Sharon hanging around Tally would make her turn against them, but Tally is the only person who seems to want to help Sharon out. Sharon walks by the science room and she learns that the frogs that were sent are alive instead of dead. At Life Cycles (We haven’t seen that place in a while), Tally and Sharon meet up and Tally was only able to get six signatures for the petition. They start going on about how no one cares and Sharon mentions how friends are supposed to help and speak of the devil guess who just so happens to show up:

Speak of the devil

This would have been perfect if Connor wasn’t sneezing.

Maria and Tally start a catfight and I am here for it! Sharon stops them and asks Maria and Connor to talk to them outside. Sharon swears that she’s only hanging around Tally because she shares Sharon’s feelings about the frogs, but Connor and Maria don’t believe her. Sharon explains that Tally is the only one who’s helping her, but Connor tells Sharon that they tried to help but they hated those frog costumes. Maria assumes that Sharon is trying to say that Tally is a better friend than them and she leaves with Connor.

Maria walks off with Connor

The next day at school Sharon sneaks into the science room and gives the frogs something to eat. Someone shows up at the door. Uh-oh looks like Sharon’s about to get busted! Oh, no wait it’s Tally. Sorry folks, nothing to see here.

Oh wait it's Tally

Sharon and Tally have a nice, little conversation and Sharon jokes about going on a frog rescue mission. They contemplate if they should go through with it because they don’t want to get in trouble and Sharon mentions that her mom has been pissed at her a lot this year. I have to say that I like the callback from the previous episodes. Sharon thinks that they should go along with it, but they have to make sure they don’t get caught. Sharon gets the idea to use the gum Tally’s been chewing on so the door won’t lock.

Eww she touched her gum

Eww she’s touching her gum.

Connor walks up to Sharon at her locker and asks if she wants to hang out with him at Life Cycles. I like that Connor hasn’t completely blown off Sharon. Before she answers, her phone rings and it’s Tally telling her that the science room is free. Sharon lies to Connor and tells her she can’t go because she has to do something for her mom. (sighs) Poor Connor. Tally and Sharon go into the science lab and get the frogs now they have to worry about getting out of the school in one piece. They walk past the teacher’s lounge where Ms. Marsh is and one of the frogs make a noise. Ms. Marsh comes out of the room looking around and the girls are praying to God that the frogs don’t make another noise.

Don't make a peep

Ms. Marsh doesn’t hear anything and decides to go back in the room. Now, they’ve gotta get to the door where the cleaning guy is cleaning the floor. He eventually lives and now is their chance to leave. With our knowledge of Sharon being a klutz and the floors have just been cleaned. I think it’s pretty clear what’s going to happen:

Slip n slide

But luckily for Sharon she got out of there okay. The girls get to a pond and set the frogs free. Now that their mission is accomplished, Sharon asks Tally why she started those rumors about Maria and Connor. Tally denies spreading the rumors and claims that she heard the rumors. Tally believed the rumors because Maria and Connor always together and that’s why she broke up with him. Sharon tells her that all three of them hang together because they’re best friends and Tally realizes that she was wrong. Sharon and Tally decide to go back to school to return the containers that the frogs were being held. Let’s see if they can get in and out in one piece like before. They get to the classroom and put the containers back, but Sharon’s braces pick up the electricity from the plasma orb on the desk and Sharon’s braces get stuck on one of the containers.

Cageface

Tally and Sharon try to get the container off, but they fall on the ground hard and it causes Ms. Marsh to come in and figure out what all of that noise was. Busted! The girls are suspended as their punishment, but they think it was worth because they saved the frogs. Sharon gets home and her mom is furious that she broke the law, but that’s not what Helen is pissed about. She’s really pissed off at the fact that school rejected Sharon’s alternative dissecting ideas. Helen decides to call the principal to give her a piece of her mind. The next day Helen tells Sharon that the school isn’t going to get rid of dissecting all together, but they will borrow computer programs this year and use Sharon’s other alternatives for next year. Sharon hears something outside and goes out to her window and sees Maria dribbling a basketball. I see an error. Sharon is wearing a blue shirt in this shot:

Sharon is wearing a blue shirt

Sharon asks Maria why she wasn’t in school and Maria said they were let out early for the Teacher’s conference. That’s right, Principal Ludwig did mention that earlier in the episode. Maria has been informed that Tally never spread the rumor and she assumes that Tally and Sharon are now friends. Sharon tells Maria that she hasn’t spoken to Tally and that Tally is only a friend for the animal rights’ activist stuff while Maria is for everything else.

This was a pretty good episode. Like I mentioned earlier, it would have been great to see Connor and Tally’s relationship throughout the show. I could see where both sides were coming from. Sharon had no one helping her with the frogs and Tally was the only one. Her friends know that she deeply cares about animals and they did a piss poor job of helping her. I understand that they’re don’t really care about animals like Sharon does, but they could have tried harder. However, I understand why Maria and Connor (moreso Maria) was upset with Sharon hanging out with Tally. Tally was spreading rumors about them and it’s betrayal for a friend to hang out with someone who did that to a friend. However, all of this could have been avoided if Connor and Tally spoke to each other. Now, that the rumors are fake what is to come of Connor and Tally? Are they going to remain broken up or are they going to get back together? Considering that this was their fourth time breaking up, it’s best that they stay broken up. Being on and off with someone is exhausting and it’s an unhealthy relationship. I do like that this episode had more of Connor in it. It’s always nice to get Connor-related episodes. I also liked Helen in this episode despite her only being there for 2 minutes. Sure she was upset that Sharon got suspended, but she was mostly upset that the school wasn’t listening to her suggestions. I hate that society never takes children/teens seriously. They just get told to “stay in a child’s place” or just dismiss everything as a fad.

 

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BraceFace: S1, E17 “The Secret”

Good news! After nearly 14 months of applying for jobs, getting a million rejection letters, and going on multiple interviews (some of which were scams), I finally have a job. Jesus, I felt like I was never going to get one. I’m beyond grateful and happy. Bad news? My new job might affect how often I do my reviews, but I will do my best to stick to my schedule and having these uploaded every Friday evening. However, in the event that it’s Friday evening and I have nothing posted, please understand and try to be patient.

At school, Sharon is in the girls’ bathroom and telling Maria about her date with Alden at an amusement park. They were on a horror ride (so predictable) and Sharon leaned in closer to Alden, but he pulled away. Sharon think the pimple on her chin made him pull away.

PimpleFace

PimpleFace! My life is complicated…

Maria doesn’t believe that’s the case since the pimple is so small and believes it was because his friends were in the car behind him and Alden was afraid to do make a move in front of his friends. She also theorizes that Alden’s just a gentleman and teases Sharon about the fact that her and Alden haven’t kissed yet. Haha. Meanwhile, Alden and Brock are in the boys’ locker room and Alden is complaining to Brock about not having any privacy at home. Brock smells Alden’s armpit and it pretty much tells us why Alden pulled away from Sharon. Alden tells Brock that he’s been using deodorant, but it’s not working. I have the same problem as well. Regular deodorant has the same effect on me as a Pikachu using Thunderbolt on an Onix. Luckily, I have an antiperspirant prescription to combat my strong armpit odor. Brock warns Alden to stay away from the chicks. I don’t get why he’s saying chicks. Does he not care that Alden is already in a relationship with Sharon? I guess he doesn’t respect their relationship.

Before I start, is this guy the only teacher at Mary Pickford Junior High? He’s the Gym, French, and History teacher. I’ve had teachers that taught more than one subject, but those were related subjects. I guess it’s one of those “We only have one teacher in the whole school” tropes.

One teacher in the entire school

Anyway, Mr. Hopoff is passing out everyone’s community service assignments. Sharon and Maria got the Teen Help Line. Alden has also been assigned to the Teen Help Line, but is afraid he might end up next to Sharon and starts sweating. Brock suggests that he trade with Connor since his assignment is the Jr. Fireman and we all know it’s not Connor’s thing. Unfortunately for both of these guys, Mr. Hopoff tells him they can’t switch assignments. Whomp. Whomp.

Sorry no trading

Sharon hears all of this and believes that Alden wanted to trade so he can avoid her. I understand why Sharon would think that. And he is avoiding her, but not in the way she thinks he is. At the Hotline Center, Sharon is listening to a caller complaining about her boyfriend. He does a lot of romantic things so his girlfriend will make out with him. She complains that her lips are chapped all of the time. She also asks Sharon if she should break up with her boyfriend and mentions that he’s a wrestler. While all of this is going on, Alden is purposely trying not to look in Sharon’s direction.

The girl, whose name is revealed to be Hanna, also mentions that we they play fight he, says “Oh, Hanna you’re so big and strong”. Yeah, I’m going to take that out of context. Sharon yells out Hanna’s name and has everyone in the room staring at her. “Hanna” goes on to ask if it’s cute because he can flip her over in a second and hangs up. Yeah, my mind is in gutter today. Sharon pulls Maria away from the phone (how rude) and tells her that she thinks Adam’s girlfriend Hanna was the one on the phone. Maria doesn’t believe it, but Sharon believes otherwise since the boyfriend fits Adam’s description and the girl sounded like Hanna. Maria tells her that she’s going to need more proof and Alden comes in yawning and stretching.

Eww

Sharon asks Alden if they’re still on for their movie date later on. He confirms and quickly walks away from her. He continues to make Sharon believe that he wants nothing to do with her. Later on, Sharon and Maria go into Adam’s room and try to find proof that he’s the pervert boyfriend. Sharon finds posters of women working out in Adam’s room and immediately labels him a pervert. Haha. I think the girls would have to be something skimpier or maybe they could find some Playboy magazines laying around in order for him to be a pervert.

A total pervert

What a pervert!

Maria finds a bowl of vanilla ice cream and Sharon makes a connection to Adam being the pervy boyfriend. Sharon starts reaching for the sky when she makes the sunset connection to Adam having a postcard from Richard when he was on tour in Florida (Remember that episode?). Maria doesn’t believe the bullshit and just when Maria points out that none of the music Adam has is country, Adam is home from practice. They run out of his room and are able to fool Adam into believing they were in the den watching TV. They pretend to talk about Sharon’s date with Alden later tonight and Sharon says she’s going to try a new approach.

Sharon is in her room waiting on Alden, but Adam steps in and tells her that Alden can’t make the date but they can do homework on the phone. Sharon’s disappointed, but tries to look on the bright side and brags to Adam that he and Hanna probably don’t do homework over the phone. Adam asks why would he want to do that and Sharon is truly convinced that Adam is a pervert. I wouldn’t want to do homework on the phone with a guy that I’m dating. We could have discussions and debates over literature, but not homework.

Just what I thought

The next day Alden and Brock and standing outside of a store and Alden is too embarrassed to go inside. How cute. Brock pulls him inside and they tell the pharmacist (I assume since she’s wearing a white coat) that they need Extra Manly Deodorant. I wonder if it’s a brand name or if it’s just something they made up. She doesn’t believe that Alden needs it since he’s just a boy, but Brock insists that she smells Alden’s armpit. She does and the woman passes out, but regains conscious. She tells him that deodorant won’t do and he needs to see a specialist about it. Poor Alden looks like the lady told him that he only has six months to live.

You have six months to live

I’m sorry to tell you this son, but you only have six months to live.

Back at home, Sharon and Maria are watching Adam and Hanna playing outside from Sharon’s room. They’re watching for signs of him being a pervert in action. Adam and Hanna are out of their sight, but they can still hear them. Sharon hears Hanna saying “Stop” and “That’s disgusting”. Adam says it’s only a little spit (ew) and Sharon thinks he’s being a make out monster like “Hanna” described. But, it was Sampson licking her.

Sampson licking Hanna

Sharon continues to get her Harriet the Spy on as she watches Hanna and thinks she’s crying because of Adam, but it’s because her new contact lenses hurt her eyes. Oh, contact lenses. I started wearing them in the 9th grade. I had such a hard time getting them in, but they didn’t really hurt so badly. Now, I’m a pro at them, but my eyes still fucking hurt sometimes.

Contact lenses are the devil

Sharon goes over Hanna’s house and tries to console her. You know those scenarios where both characters think they’re talking about the same thing, but they’re really not? Yeah it’s one of those and I always find them hilarious. Anyway, Sharon swears to Hanna that she’ll set Adam straight. Poor Hanna has no clue what she’s talking about. Sharon goes down to the den where Adam is watching TV. She starts telling him off, but he ignores her and has no clue what she’s talking about. I feel bad for all of them. We get to Alden’s house and he’s looking for his swash goggles. He assumes Daisy took and calls for her, but Violet tells him that she’s at the doctor for her body odor problem. Daisy has been wearing other people’s clothes, which explains why Alden’s clothes smell like that. Alden is so happy that he’s not the problem that he can’t keep his shirt on….literally.

Keep your shirt on

Meanwhile, Sharon takes the sex addict, err, I mean Adam snow skiing to help him control his hormones. This whole situation is just laughable. Adam says that he feels normal, but starts questioning Sharon if she’s the one with the hormonal problem. Duh. Duh. Duh. Since Alden doesn’t have the body odor issue, he’s free to hang around Sharon again. They just finished playing Gin and Alden is tired of playing. Sharon suggests that they watch a video and Alden tells her to pick whatever she wants. Sharon wants to watch a romance movie, but she doesn’t want Alden to think she only has one thing on her mind. Okay, I’m starting to believe Adam when he said Sharon might be the one with the hormonal issue. She’s afraid to admit and is taking it out on Adam by accusing him of having those issues. Instead of sitting next to Alden on the couch, she decides to sit in the reclining chair. Alden tries to convince Sharon to sit on the couch and she does so, but she’s sitting far away from him. Is this payback for him avoiding her without telling her? Looks that way.

Quit playing games with my head

I do find it weird that Sharon picked out one of Adam’s wrestling matches to watch. Anyway, Sharon and Alden start doing that awkwardly, adorable shyness thing that they did in the first few episodes. They’re so adorable when they do that.

So nervous and cute

Alden scoots closer to Sharon and he does the ol’ “I’m just yawning and stretching so I can put my arm around you” move that I’ve seen so many damn times in pop culture. You know the ol’ saying “Pictures are worth a thousand words”? What’s going to happen next (You already know what’s going to happen) is something that I have to just take screenshots of. Words don’t do it justice.

I spent five whole minutes laughing my ass off. Their first kiss was so awkward and hilarious. Thank God my first kiss wasn’t like that. Granted, I was 18 going on 19 (yeah I’m a late bloomer) when I had mine, but still. Adam walks in on them and he’s cracking up just like me. Adam teases Sharon and Sharon lies and says that they were practicing some of his wrestling moves. …And just like that, my mind goes straight to the gutter.

The next day at the Teen Help Hotline, Sharon gushes to Maria (in the restroom of all places) about her kiss with Alden. I wonder why she waited until now to bring this up. If I had an amazing experience with a guy, I would be telling my best friend about it and not leaving a single detail out. The girls are hogging up the bathroom, while poor Alden is standing outside holding in his piss.

Let the poor guy use the bathroom

Getting back to work, Sharon listens to a bunch of teens vent about their relationship problems. She gets another call and it’s “Hanna”. “Hanna” says that Sharon really helped her, but puts Sharon on hold because she has call waiting. Sharon’s braces do its magic and she’s able to hear the phone conversation. “Hanna” is revealed to be a girl named Julie. Sharon realizes she fucked up and feels bad for being so mean to Adam. Maria agrees and points out that Sharon never did prove everything. Adam pulls up in his car with Hanna wearing glasses and playing country music. He asks the girls if they need a lift and they start laughing like maniacs.

This was a decent episode. As always, Shalden are so cute and adorable. Their first kiss was just priceless. Definitely one of my top favorite moments in the series so far. I do like that they touched on puberty in this. Even though it wasn’t Alden, I appreciate that they added in the body odor issue considering I had this problem when I was a teen. I always kept my arms low so the stench wouldn’t spread. I’d get embarrassed anytime someone at school yelled out that someone was musty. It was a small detail, but I like that Alden asked if it was hereditary. It runs in my family. My grandmother had it, my mom has it, I have it, and if I have a kid there’s a good chance they’ll have it too. It was wrong of Sharon to jump to conclusions so quickly. I understand that Adam fit the description of the sex-addicted boyfriend, but she should have gathered more concrete evidence. I also didn’t like how Alden was avoiding Sharon the whole time and all of a sudden stops without explaining to Sharon what was going on. I know he’s a teenager and he’s probably too embarrassed to talk about things like that with his girlfriend, but you were with Sharon when she got her first period. If he could handle that, then she could handle this. Also I’d be pretty suspicious of a guy if he went ghost on me and then came back without any explanation.

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