So not too long after I posted that this review would be delayed because the Internet was down, it came back on! I would have started writing this review yesterday, but I’ve been without Internet access (aside from my phone) for a couple of days so I had a lot of catching up to do. Sick of hearing about the election aftermath? I know I am. I would have been able to avoid most of it if my Internet was working so I could watch some shows online. I wasn’t able to watch them on my phone so I was stuck with hearing about it more than I wanted to. It didn’t help that my Internet went out on Election Day (inserts emoji face with rolling eyes). If you’re like me and you’re drained from hearing about it, hopefully this review will take your mind off of it.
It seems like Sharon has moved on pretty quick from Alden because she’s got her eyes on a guy named Tony Sparelli (let me guess he’s Italian). Okay, I take back that “moved on pretty quick” since I don’t know the time span between this episode and the previous one. She’s at home fantasizing about him and calls Maria. She tells her it’s been a month since the breakup and that she needs to move on. See, I knew there had to have been a time length. She tells Maria about her new crush who is also Adam’s friend. Maria tells Sharon there’s no way that’s happening since he’s one year away from being a legal adult, but Sharon swears that he’s into her. We get a flashback to last week (in their time) to Tony removing spaghetti out of Sharon’s hair in the cafeteria. Okay that seems nice of him.
Maria corrects her by saying he happened to come at the right time because some guy named Drew was intending on hitting her.
Tony takes the spaghetti and throws it at Drew. He also jokes to Adam about Sharon’s hair smelling like garlic and they walk away laughing. Sharon took his joke as him flirting with her. (facepalms) She goes on by thinking an older guy would be great for her because older guys are way more mature than guys our age! She asks Maria to join her at Life Cycles to see if he’s there, but Maria declines to do a book report on a book from childhood. Now, Sharon is stuck trying to find something to do to spend her Friday night. She goes downstairs to call for Helen, who’s downstairs slow dancing with David. They share a kiss, which is interrupted by Sharon.
Sharon asks Helen if she wants to watch a movie with her and she can’t since her and David are getting ready for their ballroom dancing lesson. Helen suggests that Sharon do her book report and Sharon agrees since she has nothing else to do. Sharon asks to use her mom’s computer since her computer’s modem is slow and she agrees. Sharon gets on the phone with Maria and grosses out over her mom and David kissing. Maria jokes about Helen having more of a love life than Sharon. Shit, both of them have more of a love life than I do. Sharon is looking up Cliffs notes and Maria chastises her for using them for “Little Little Riding Hood” and Sharon agrees not to use it. As someone who majored in English, I actually don’t mind that. Yes, the tale is pretty straightforward but sometimes Cliffs notes can provide you with a perspective that you never thought about or helping you understand symbolic things that went over your head. I used Sparknotes (similar to Cliffs Notes) instead and I used it from high school up until college and I have no regrets. On with the episode, Sharon looks up “Little Red Riding Hood” and finds a different kind of LLRH. This causes her to blush and cover her cat’s (not that cat, get your mind out of the gutter) eyes.
Sharon is so shocked at what she finds that she hangs up the phone. And Sharon can’t stop looking at LLRH porn. At school, Sharon tells Maria what she saw and this prompts Sharon to feel like she needs to “mature” in order to get Tony to like her. We cut to after school and Helen confronts Sharon about the porn she saw because it was in her browsing history. Ah, the days before you could delete your browsing history. Thank God that option existed when I was going on websites my mom forbidden me and my brother from using. Sharon complains about not having privacy and Helen tells her that she put a parental block on all of the computers. We cut to Adam and Tony playing foosball in the dining room. Sharon comes in and overhears them talking about going to see a movie that almost got an X-rating. She chimes in and tells them that her and Maria are going to see the movie. Little does Sharon know, her mom is eavesdropping:
Adam and Tony tease Sharon for being too young to watch the movie. Adam realizes that he can’t go because he has a date with Hanna. Tony suggests that he bring her along, but Adam knows that Hanna wouldn’t want to see something like that. Sharon has decided that her, Tony, and Maria will go to the movie together. Tony blows off the idea because she and Maria wouldn’t be let it. Sharon doesn’t know what to say so she pretends she hears Helen calling her. This is Helen’s cue to run so it won’t look like she’s been listening. Helen attempts to get Sharon to go to an art museum with her to prevent her from going to the movie, but fails. At school, Sharon tells Maria the plan and they decide to wear make-up so they can pass for 17. This wouldn’t work for me. I have a baby face so there’s no kind of makeup in the world that would help me look older. I’ll always look like a middle/high school student no matter what. Sharon plans on telling her mom that her and Maria are going to see “The Parent Gap 2” (an obvious parody of The Parent Trap). We cut to Friday night and Sharon and Maria have entirely too much makeup on.
Then, Helen knocks on the door and the girls rush out of there saying that they’re headed to the movie. Helen asks what they’re seeing and Maria tells her “The Parent Gap 2”. Helen gushes over how much she loved the first one and asks to tag along. Ha! They’re at the movies and I guess Helen made the girls take off that horrendous makeup.
I guess it’s an animation error because in this scene the makeup is back.
The girls overhear Tony and his friends and they’re about to head in. The girls are in a dilemma here because Helen is looking for them and she notices Tony and starts talking to him. They try to sneak pass them, but Helen catches them. Helen asks Tony what movie he’s going to see and he lies and says he’s going to see the same movie that they’re seeing. I don’t know why Tony is lying. If I’m not mistaken, you have to be 17 and older to see an R-rated movie. Idk if the same applies in Canada, where the show is based in. Tony’s friends play along and Helen starts looking at them like an evil witch from a Disney movie.
When they get home, Sharon is stomping around being angry and Helen is acting as if she has no idea what’s going on. Sharon goes off on Helen for embarrassing her and ruining Tony’s night. She is right about fucking up his night. He’s old enough to see an R-rated movie so why is Helen acting as if he isn’t. Helen is all “You’re just growing up so fast” bullshit I hear all of the time. Sharon calls bullshit and says that Helen just wants to spy on her. Helen tells Sharon the truth about Tony and says that guys like him shouldn’t be interested in younger girls. She’s definitely right about that. Older guys see younger girls as someone who’s easily to manipulate. It also doesn’t help the fact that younger girls usually think that older guys are more mature than the boys in their age group, when in actuality they’re no different. Sharon, of course, doesn’t want to hear it and wants her mom to butt out of her life.
On their way to school, Sharon tells Maria about her fight with her mom and they see Tony. Sharon is afraid to face him and hides behind Maria. Maria doesn’t see the big deal and tells Sharon to go and say hi to him. Fortunately for Sharon, Tony is already out of sight. They continue walking and Sharon finds a flyer that’s an invitation to a party on Saturday. Sharon recognizes the address as Tony’s and decides that she has to go. Maria isn’t too thrilled about going to a wild party. Ya know, sex, drugs, and underage drinking. At home, Adam laughs about the events of Saturday night. Sharon, annoyed with him making fun of her, changes the subject to Tony’s party. Adam wonders how Sharon knows about the party and Sharon tells him that she was invited. You guys attend the same school. Of course, she’s going to know about it. It’s not like she’s in junior high or something. Adam doesn’t believe it and advises Sharon about going. Hell, he’s not even going because he knows that party is going to be a mess. Sharon blackmails Adam into not saying anything to Helen about the party because she’ll tell her about him skipping class to make out with Hanna. Adam agrees not to say anything, but he doesn’t think that Sharon will be able to go because Helen is going to try to force Sharon to go to the art museum that was mentioned earlier.
Fast forward to dinner, everyone is talking about their Saturday night plans. Josh is going to hang out with Richard and Adam has a date with Hanna. Adam makes sure to bring up the art museum and Sharon kicks Adam’s foot under the table. Sharon suggests that Helen goes with David instead. David mentions that he has tickets to a costume Charity ball that night and Helen isn’t sure about going to it. Sharon insists that Helen go and she agrees. Sharon tells Helen that she’ll invite Maria over and have a spa night. We cut to Saturday night and Helen and David are dressed as Hansel and Gretel.
Helen explains the house rules to the girls and Adam warns Sharon not to anything that he wouldn’t do. As soon as everyone leaves, the girls take off their robes revealing their outfits for the party.
The girls get to the party and they’re wearing that ridiculous makeup again. They start dancing and Sharon stops to look around and see two people making out and some people arguing.
She starts getting nervous and spots Tony talking to some friends. She starts walking over there and accidentally bumps into some drunk guy who spills beer on her shirt. He asks Sharon if she wants to get in his car. No. No. No. Leave right now! Sharon scolds the guy for planning on drinking and driving and asks for his keys.
She tells him that he can have them back when he gets a sober driver. Tony comes by and starts cracking jokes at Sharon. He asks Sharon if she wants anything to drink. She tells him she wants a soda and he and his friends start laughing. He suggests something a little stronger and Sharon makes up an excuse to get away from them. Sharon tells Maria that they’re leaving, but Maria doesn’t want to leave because she’s enjoying the music. The guys arguing from earlier start fighting and Sharon insist that they leave. We cut to Helen and David coming home early and David thought that the ball had a costume theme. And Helen and David just so happens to be riding past Tony’s house and spots Sharon and Maria outside. Maria thinks this is a great party and doesn’t understand why Sharon wants to leave. That’s odd. Earlier Maria wasn’t keen on the party and now she’s likes it. Sharon calls a cab and sees David and Helen pulling into the driveway. Some people at the party start laughing at Helen coming to get Sharon and of course she’s embarrassed. The drunk guy from earlier asks Sharon to give him back his keys because he found a designated driver. David suggests that they all go home and Sharon’s cab just so happens to pull up. Sharon tells them that she just wanted to get home safely and Helen insists that Sharon come home with them, but refuses. Maria goes in the cab with Sharon and we see Sharon crying, which I don’t really get why.
We fast forward to Helen and David arriving home while Sharon is sitting on the roof. David asks Helen if she needs help with Sharon, but she tells him that she can do this on her own. Helen joins Sharon on the roof and decides that she should allow Sharon to make her own mistakes. She also commends Sharon for being responsible for calling a cab and taking the drunk guy’s keys. She also allows Sharon to come up with her own punishment.
I’m not sure how I feel about this episode. I do like that the episode was fast forwarded from last episode and this one, but I would have liked to see how Sharon got over Alden. I know it couldn’t have been easy, but it’s nice to see her try to move on. I don’t think Sharon discovering porn on the Internet should have been included because I don’t think it really added anything. I get that it was there to prompt Helen to go into Mama Bear mode in this episode, but it was never mentioned ever again. I guess I would have liked to see this episode take a different approach. Remember when Helen told Sharon about older guys being into younger girls? I wish the episode would have built on that. Yes, I know they’ve done an episode somewhat similar to this in Season 1 but this could have reinforced why older guys shouldn’t prey on younger girls. Tony could have taken advantage of Sharon and she’s acting out like this because she loves him and everyone is trying to tell her that he’s a dick. Idk this wasn’t a bad episode, but I just wanted this episode to be a bit different.