We start this episode off with Sharon practicing ways to talk to Alden. Not even 5 seconds into this episode and Sharon is already talking about Alden. Girl, give it a rest. Sharon goes outside to get the newspaper and sees Adam being distracted by Hanna, the girl next door (No, seriously she lives next door to them).
Adam sees that Hanna is going back inside the house and rushes over to open the door, but he’s so strong that he rips the door off of its hinges.
Later on, Sharon is outside playing tennis (And Sharon said she wasn’t the athletic type. Pfft) and Maria comes over on her skateboard. This Saturday, Maria will be entering the Boardfest Skateboard Finals and Sharon will be there to support her friend. Adam is at Hanna’s house fixing the door he fucked up and sees Hanna carrying some heavy boxes. He stops to try to help her, but he accidentally steps on her foot. Jesus, is Adam the Hulk in human form or something? Sharon and Adam are washing dishes together and Sharon tells Adam that she knows that he has a thing for Hanna. Adam doesn’t think Hanna is interested in him and Sharon denies it and says she could like him if he changed some things about himself. Here we go, ladies and germs an episode about changing yourself for a crush.
Sharon starts giving Adam tips on how to win Hanna over. 1st tip is to hold back his strength. I agree with Sharon on this one. No one wants to date a guy who is just going to break all ten of their toes. In addition, I’m a petite person so I’m not trying to die. 2nd is his table manners which suck. No seriously, Sharon says that they suck. I’m surprised they let that slide pass the censors given this show’s target audience. Adam thinks Sharon is done giving him tips, but nope she goes on to 87, which is his personal hygiene. Adam is surprised that Sharon knows so much about this “girl stuff” and she says that she is a girl, which Adam replies that he didn’t noticed. Sharon’s face in response to Adam’s comment is priceless:
Adam asks Sharon to help him out and she agrees since she’s under the impression that the Spitz (Their last name has always bothered me) kids are members of the “Forever Alone Club”. Maria and Josh are there to help Sharon help out Adam. Josh is a lab rat to test Adam on his strength. Adam pushes Josh on the swing and Josh is swung all the way up to the top.
Adam finally learns to hold back is strength (Of course, we don’t see the process) as he pushes Josh on the swing with just his finger. The next step is to work on Adam’s table manners. Sharon shows Adam how to eat spaghetti the proper way instead of just slurping it. You know I could never master how to do that. Looks like Adam isn’t the only one here learning. Adam learns how to eat spaghetti the proper way and then…he burps. Seems like the “No burping” rule should have been the first thing Sharon told Adam. Sharon changes Adam’s wardrobe and they get a smoothie at Life Cycles to celebrate. I kinda like this outfit that Adam is wearing.
Adam sees Hanna at Life Cycles and changes his mind, but Sharon isn’t buying his bullshit and forces him to go in. No seriously, she pushes him in. How is Sharon strong enough to push him like that? Adam asks if he and Sharon can join Hanna, but Hanna rejects him telling him that she just got her toe cast removed. Haha. Adam swears he won’t break anything and she agrees to let him join her. Sharon walks up to the counter and orders some smoothies. Hey, look it’s the asshole employee guy from “Crushed”. I wonder if he’s going to make Hanna, Adam, and Sharon leave because they don’t have any laundry.
Alden is there and he waves to Sharon. Sharon waves right back….until some girl sits next to Alden and they drink out of the same smoothie. Damn. Sharon is bummed until Caleb Pulaski (the other cutest guy in town according to Sharon) walks in. Apparently, Caleb and Adam know each other and Sharon walks over with the smoothies. Adam introduces Sharon to Caleb and Caleb gives Sharon a compliment, which she smiles nervously to. Sharon is obsessing so much over Caleb that she didn’t even notice Alden waving to her as he was leaving with the girl from earlier. Alden looks sad that Sharon didn’t notice him, but I don’t feel bad for him. Caleb leaves and says he’ll see “You guys tomorrow” and Sharon automatically assumes that she’s included. She’s already setting herself for embarrassment as she fantasizes about marrying Caleb. In the fantasy, Caleb is grossed out by Sharon’s braces and the fantasy rewinds to Sharon without braces. Funny.
Adam tells Sharon that things hit off with him and Hanna and they’re meeting at Life Cycles again tomorrow. Sharon suggests that she tags along just in case, but Adam thinks he’s got it covered and that Sharon has better things to do than hang out with his friends. In order to hang around Caleb, Sharon tells Adam that Hanna may like him, but she needs to give him a full makeover in order for Hanna to really like him. Okay, now you’re just going overboard. Speaking of overboard, Maria comes over to Sharon’s giving her a poster of all of the dates and times of the sporting events for BoardFest. Maria and Sharon tries to figure out what Hanna likes and suggests that girls like guys who share a common interest with them. Okay, I call bullshit. You don’t have to share the same interest to date someone. It’s nice to date someone who shares a common interest with you, but it’s not necessary. Maria rightfully tells Sharon that that’s not always true. Sharon closes the door in Maria’s face (How rude) and tells Adam she’s going to give him an internal makeover.
The next day Sharon and Adam are wearing wires with ear buds and microphones so Sharon can tell Adam what to say to Hanna. How many times have we’ve seen this scenario in TV shows? This will not end well. Something just occurred to me how does Hannah not see the wire in Adam’s ear? Is she blind or something? Hanna asks Adam about the history test they had at school and Sharon tells Adam to say a bunch of “Get in touch with your sensitive side” bullshit. What is up with this trope that all girls want a sensitive guy? Girls have a variety of traits of what they look for in a partner. The asshole employee (I can’t remember his name right now) starts fumbling around with the radio and I’m pretty sure you can figure out what’s going to happen next. Yep, her braces start fucking up and everything Sharon is telling Adam makes no sense (Nothing she was telling him was making sense from the get-go). He flubs him and says he’s got constipation instead of meditation. For the first time, someone else on this show has given me second-hand embarrassment who isn’t Sharon. Another thing that’s bothering me is that Adam is too stupid to realize how ridiculous the things he’s told to be said are.
And just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, Caleb comes in and Sharon creams herself. Maria comes over and sits at the table Sharon is sitting in. Seeing that Caleb is coming over, Sharon tells Maria that the seat is taken and Adam repeats what Sharon says to Hanna. (Sighs) Maria asks whose seat it is and Caleb walks over and says “By me” and Adam (his stupidity is pissing me off) repeats what Caleb says upsetting Hanna. Sharon comes up with some bullshit to get Maria to leave by telling her that it’s a two-seated table and that Bill (*snaps fingers* That was his name!) doesn’t like people moving the chairs around. Maria, rightfully pissed gets the message and leaves. Caleb sits down and asks Sharon to buy him a smoothie, veggie burger, and fries because he forgot his wallet. Sharon, like a lovesick puppy agrees to it.
At school, Sharon apologizes to Maria for blowing her off in favor of a fuckboy. Maria says it’s no big deal, but you can tell it she’s lying. She asks Sharon if she likes Caleb and Sharon denies it. Maria is relived and says that he’s not her type. This upsets Sharon and people in the hallway can hear them arguing.
Maria tells Sharon that Caleb is a selfish asshole and that he was obviously using her. Sharon isn’t trying to hear it and pulls the “You’re just jealous” card. At Life Cycles, Sharon paid $14.99 (in Canadian dollars because the show is based in Canada) for Caleb’s meal. Yeah, I would never spend that much money on a guy, not even if he was my boyfriend. This is why I’ll be forever alone. I’m too damn selfish. Adam continues to annoy Hanna with his fake, deep intellectual bullshit that he’s learning from Sharon. Caleb asks Hanna and Adam if they have any plans for Saturday. Hanna was hoping that Adam would help her built a yoga gazebo, but Sharon tells him not to because the wood was once a tree. Caleb asks Sharon if she wants to hang out this Saturday. She realizes that this Saturday is also Maria’s skateboarding thing and she agrees. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Bad move, Shar. At home, Sharon calls Maria and lies to her by telling her that her great aunt on her dad’s side died and that she can’t make it to the skateboarding event. Maria, who isn’t buying any of it, hangs up. Gotta love Maria.
Saturday comes and Adam is dressed in the ugliest, throwback to the ‘70s, hippy outfit I have ever seen. Sharon doesn’t look too bad, but I don’t know what’s so special about this outfit in specific. Caleb and Hanna show up to the Spitz residence and they’re taken aback by their atrocious outfits.
Caleb mocks them asking “Where’s the costume party?” and Sharon replies by asking if they’re going to a costume party. I didn’t mention it before, but Sharon clearly doesn’t catch on to sarcasm well. This is like the second time that Caleb has acted like a sarcastic, little shit. Caleb tells her that they’re going to the park for the BoardFest and Sharon knows she’s in some dodo. At BoardFest, Caleb asks Sharon (This is the second time he’s flubbed up her name. The first time he called her Sherry) to buy him some food. Hanna, annoyed with Adam flute-playing, asks him to buy her a drink. While they’re buying food, Adam confessing to Sharon that he’s not happy with the way things are going with him and Hanna. Sharon, only thinking about Caleb, lies to Adam and tells him that he’s making progress. They overhear Hanna complaining to Caleb that she’s fed up with Adam acting fake-deep and misses how he acted in the beginning. Caleb chimes saying that he’s sick of both of them and calls Sharon a loser for hanging out with them all of the time and calls her Braceface. Sharon tries to apologize to Adam, but he’s not trying to hear it. Sharon walks away feeling bad and falls onto a skateboard ramp and guess who spots Sharon? It’s Maria and she is pissed!
Sharon tries to lie her way out, but Maria sees Caleb is also at Boardfest and starts cursing Sharon out in another language and I love it! At home, Sharon tries to apologize to Adam again and he’s still not trying to hear it. Okay, Adam is irking my soul right now. No one told you to take advice from your 13-year-old sister who knows nothing about relationships. Another thing is that you should have been smart enough to realize that some of the tips your sister was giving you were bullshit. You just went along with everything your sister told you to do so you have only yourself to be mad at. Sharon explains to Adam that she truly did want Hanna to like Adam, but she also wanted Caleb to like her too. Adam is shocked that Sharon likes Caleb and tells Sharon that Caleb is an asshole and that he’s always “forgetting” his wallet. Why is Adam shocked that Sharon knows about Caleb “pretending” to “forget” his wallet? Did he not see this happening while he was hanging around them? Jesus, Adam is dense as hell. Sharon is sad that she fucked everything up and Adam tells her to do something about it.
Sharon goes over to Maria’s to apologize to her, but Maria refuses to let her it. Sharon slips sheets of paper under the door and they’re all apologies that Sharon wrote. Maria reads the pieces of paper out load and opens the door. And just like that all is forgiven. Adam goes back to acting like himself again and holding back his strength and table manners like Sharon told him in the beginning. Caleb is using another girl and now he’s wearing colored contacts. I didn’t notice this at all.
I like that Sharon tried to teach Adam that he needed to hold back on his strength and work on his table manners. Despite that the message of this episode was to just be yourself, sometimes they are traits that people need to work on in order to improve themselves. I’m a shy person and I’ve come to the realization that I can’t be like that forever. Being a shy person has hindered me from forming relationships (platonic and romantic) with people. During my final year of college, I started to open up a bit more and befriended quite a few people (Though I wish I had done that freshman year). Although I’m far from being a people person, I’ve come a long way from the days when I would only speak when spoken to. Of course, Sharon had to take it too far to the point where Adam wasn’t himself anymore and he wasn’t happy. You should never change who you are just to get a guy/girl to like you. If you have to change everything about yourself for someone to like you, then that person isn’t for you. Also like I mentioned earlier in the review, you don’t have to share the same interests to date someone. My best friend dated a guy who was the complete opposite of her and they worked out, even though they’re not together anymore. Although Sharon pissed me off in this episode, I could relate to her choosing a guy over a friend. I was in her shoes a year ago. I was madly in love with this guy (He treated me like shit; it’s a long story) and I would often choose him over my best friend (who I mentioned earlier). It had gotten to the point where she no longer wanted to be my friend anymore because of it. In the end, I chose her and that guy is no longer in my life and I’ve never been more happier. I have to admit I hate that Caleb just goes on to some other poor girl to use. It would have been nice for Sharon or somebody to tell him off in this episode, but I guess it’s like in real life. Assholes get away with everything.